There are many times in our lives when we feel helpless and powerless; usually during some crisis or sad event we are experiencing.
We feel as though the walls are closing in on us and there is no hope left for us.
I have mentioned in the past a good friend of mine Sara, who has a son who isn’t in the best of health mentally.
Once again Sara was in court this week with her son, trying to find the best place for his recovery. As I sat there beside her it seemed as though her son’s situation would never get better.
Mental illness is so strange. On the outside one seems strong and beautiful, while on the inside they are so broken and removed from their ability to connect to this world in a healthy manner.
Sara sat very still in the courtroom, just staring at her son as the tears fell from her eyes. Her son, Shimmy, just stared back at her with an empty look. Where was he? Would he come back to her and act healthy once more?
Shimmy is so beautiful, and so wounded in his soul. I remember Shimmy as a kid. With his beautiful blue eyes and thick tan hair. He was such a strong and courageous boy. Always the first to jump up and help anyone in need, just like his mom. And he always had a smile on his face. Shimmy’s beautiful eyes were still blue like the sky, and his smile still remained. But Shimmy’s heart and soul were broken.
A year ago he fell into a terrible situation, which caused a great decline in his mental state. Nothing has been the same since. From one institution to the next, from one courthouse to the next, a good solution for him has not yet been found.
Unfortunately, Shimmy is just another case for the system, but to his mother he is her whole world.
My dear friend Sara looked at me with tears in her big brown eyes and so much pain in her heart, and asked me, “Do you think he will ever be well again?”
When someone gets injured physically one can usually see the path ahead and see how many weeks or months it will take for them to recover. When there is a problem with mental health, the unknown is so vast.
We left the courthouse once more with no clear answers; another mental evaluation, another specialist’s interpretation, and speculations for a better place for her son.
As we stood outside, the weather was gray and the sky seemed to be crying with Sara. The rain hit gently on our faces as we walked silently to the car. While walking through the parking lot we suddenly heard a song from another car that was parked near ours. We listened closely and it felt as though the Almighty was sending Sara this special message to ease her pain ever so slightly.
The words sung were as follows:
“Everything that was here will change from tomorrow,
Time will fix everything that is broken and lost,
There is someone who keeps the good next to us,
He is always waiting.
If we try just believing without knowing,
To hug without touching,
To talk with my eyes, when we have nothing more to say,
Release the moment,
It is natural to be afraid of nature,
Embrace tightly with your arms every moment before it’s over.”
Sara and I just stood there embracing one another as the tears rolled down our cheeks. The words hit so hard in our hearts and minds.
Will time fix Shimmy’s health, Sara’s broken heart?
Can we truly believe without knowing that indeed things will change for the better?
Can we hug without touching?
I gently whispered into Sara’s ear, release the moment, it will change tomorrow, as I embraced her tightly in my arms waiting for the moment to end.
Everyone has a “Shimmy” they know, everyone is waiting for some salvation that seems so far away.
Be strong and remember there is someone who keeps the good right next to us and is always there waiting for us. Hashem.