Nothing is more effective to diminish envy than gratitude. There are a host of compelling reasons and obligations to lead a humble life as this series of columns has, and shall be, exploring. But the reduction of envy – which is such a major cause of anxiety and dissatisfaction – should be adequate enough. Envy is triggered when we perceive that we lack what others have and to which we feel entitled. This is foreign psychological territory for a humble person.
The practical application of how to implement this characteristic of the humble, as Rabbi Joseph Telushkin has pointed out, is to identify an area regarding each person we know, in which he or she is our superior. As it says in Chovos Halevavos, a great sage was asked, “How did you come to be accepted as the undisputed leader of your generation?” The scholar responded, “I never met a person in whom I did not find at least one quality superior to me.”
Once we have identified the other person’s superior trait, let this become our immediate association with that individual. Whenever we hear that person’s name or see him or her, this is what should flash in our mind. Generally, we do the exact opposite.
Nature is that the first association we usually have with others is their faults. For example, if we see someone arrive very late to davening, or hear someone’s cell phone go off during a lecture, these uncomplimentary images become our associations. There is no shortage of reasons why this is inappropriate, but as we have attempted to explain, a humble person will never be plagued by this.
(To be continued)
Chodesh Tov – have a pleasant month!