Having already focused on the detrimental influence of a bad environment, and the efforts parents must make to shield their children from a negative milieu, let’s not forget that God has blessed man with free choice, and no matter how much an environment may sway one, ultimately man alone bears the responsibility for his deeds.
Here are three thoughts to bear in mind which may assist in favoring the right decision (which often is not the convenient one). Value the importance and significance of every single act. The Rambam, based on the Talmud, stresses how useful it is to view oneself as equally balanced between good and evil, and likewise the world. Just one single deed has the power to tip the scale for oneself and the entire world in the direction of good or the contrary.
When the stakes are so significant, there is ample incentive to follow the right path. If someone comes to you seeking assistance, it would be beneficial to imagine that you are the only one who could assist this individual. If you rise to the challenge this person will have what they need. If you are derelict, no one else will assist, and the person will remain deprived.
Rachel, a woman from a large, distinguished, very scholarly family in Jerusalem was on a bus with her children to her nephew’s bar mitzvah. The bus was fire-bombed by Arab terrorists and in Rachel’s attempts to save her children, lost her own life.
The family sat shiva in the Shaarei Chessed neighborhood of Jerusalem and one day during the shiva was Election Day. A very noted poseik from that neighborhood (a story that I have been unable to verify) ruled that privately and modestly, this family may perform their civic duty. And indeed an extra, crucial mandate was won for the religious party by a mere 17 votes.
This is a family that had every right to remain home in their grief and not trouble themselves to wait in line. A rationale employed by untold millions without extenuating circumstances. And this is also a family that truly understood the value of every act and how it could change the world.
When confronted with a situation where there is a fork in the road and the direction to pursue is not clear, what should one do? Perhaps the greatest Rx is to ask yourself, “What is my true motivation? Is it the good or the evil inclination?”
Just answering this one question, as Joseph Telushkin points out, will usually determine the appropriate course of action.
Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman, zt”l, far better known as the Ponevizher Rav, was once offered to deliver a shiur (a Torah class) and he was perplexed if accepting this offer was the correct decision. On the one hand it was an opportunity to teach Torah. On the other hand, it would mean time actually depleted from Torah study in the preparation and delivering of the shiur. Perhaps he should wait until he was more advanced in years, and then there would be so much more wisdom within him to share with others.
Alternatively, the question was: “What is more important – to achieve one’s personal maximum, or to facilitate the growth of talmidim at the expense of one’s own personal growth?”
Who could answer such a question? Who could ever know if learning with talmidim was preferable to self-growth and perfection?
Who, but the Chofetz Chaim? The sage explained that the route to be followed is whatever will result in a greater amount of kavod Shomayim (honor for Heaven). These few words provided Yosef Shlomo with a signpost that would guide him for the rest of his life.
Chodesh Tov – have a pleasant month.
