How many of us in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives notice the many handicapped people struggling with simple every day tasks? I have a special needs child who is 12 years old. He was severely injured at the age of three, leaving him disabled to this very day. I myself don’t remember having an especial awareness for the disabled until that happened.
Not being aware of the disabled can come in many different forms. It can be the person who thoughtlessly parks in a spot designated for wheelchairs, even just for the few minutes it takes him to run into the store. He never stops to think of how much trouble he is causing the person who really needs that parking space. It can also be those who do not make entrance to a store or a place of business, handicapped accessible.
Today, of course, my world has changed. I don’t just see the disabled, I feel their pain. I know what it’s like not to be able to take my son out of the car because others have taken the parking spaces designed for the handicapped, or not being able to enter the building with him because there is no accessibility. Believe me people who cannot walk would do anything to be able to walk and park far into the parking lot and walk a few minutes instead of parking right in front of the mall.
Aside from the inconsiderate people there are the people who stare at those who look different, or even strange, depending on the disability. I feel that it is very important and even crucial, to teach our children and family, and in fact everyone that we know, to have more awareness, sensitivity and acceptance of this special part of our society. One might think that since a person is disabled and his body doesn’t work well as a healthy person’s, that his heart, mind and feelings are disabled as well. That is not true. No matter how they look physically and no matter how damaged they seem to be, their hearts and souls work and they feel everything. One’s first reaction might be to withdraw and feel uncomfortable. This is natural. But the next step should be to see that the person you are looking at is special and needs positive attention. If we have the privilege of being in the presence of these special souls we should show them affection and that will light up their world and ours as well.
Even young children can be trained to recognize this. I have a friend who has a five year old daughter, Faygie. She was on the bus with her mother when a handicapped person entered the bus. There were a number of other children on that bus and they immediately ran to the other side in order to be as far away from this person as possible. Faygie got up and spoke to those children. She said, Why are all of you scared of this sweet boy in the wheelchair? Do you know that he can hear and see like all of us. He also goes to school with other boys like himself. I have a friend like this and he is so cute. The first time my mother’s friend came over with him I was also scared because he was different from me. But he came over a lot with his mother and we became friends. And then I saw how normal he is. When he had a birthday party in his class my mother took me and I was so happy to be there.
This is just one story of how parents can change the awareness of their children to the special needs population. I see the reactions of different people on the street in relation to my son. Some people quickly turn the other way but some stop and smile at him and even say hello. Sometimes my son smiles back at them. As for me, it warms my heart every time a person makes a nice gesture.
It can happen to anyone, in the blink of an eye, a person can fall or have an accident that disfigures their face, even only temporarily. The stares that he/she has to undergo makes them not want to leave their house. We should all be sensitive to the feelings of others.
There is so much that needs to be said on this topic and worked on, in order to have those special needs people feel better and a part of society, in spite of their limitations. In truth we are all limited to a certain degree no matter how healthy we appear on the outside.
I believe it was said of the Chazon Ish that he would stand up when a Down Syndrome child entered the room. He said, he is rising for this special neshama.
Everyone lacks something. Let us join together to make the special needs community feel equal. Instead of staring or quickly turning away, let’s give them a smile, a good word, hold the door open for them, or just hold your child’s hand and say “ see that special person, let’s give them a smile and bless them with a beautiful day.” Through this awareness it will bring so many souls closer. After all, love can heal.