Right away, I felt that Chanania was different. I had a deep respect for his seriousness in learning, appreciated his down-to-earth manner, and liked that he was musical (he played the trumpet). Two dates in a row that were from the same city with a sparse Orthodox population – and they both play trumpet?
But it was the next piece of information that took the episode out of the realm of cute and brought it to bizarre and awesome. Chanania ‘s English name, he told me casually, was Todd. It was as if the great shidduch database in the sky mixed two files on its way down to earth! As stunning Divine providence this was, we weren’t yet done.
As pleased as Chanania and I were about our first date, there was a hitch. Chanania wanted me to go out with his older brother. If I hadn’t sensed a real trust of his integrity I would have never agreed to such an outlandish idea. But upon hearing the explanation from the shadchan, I agreed. It went like this:
Some time before, Chanania’s brother, Shimon, was not Shimon. He was Seth. And he was not learning in a Jerusalem yeshiva, but was in California with invitations prepared to be sent out for his intermarriage. Chanania, acting on urgency, made a deal that his brother couldn’t refuse – it involved Seth getting on a plane right away and experiencing yeshiva for one week. Thank G-d, yeshiva had the desired effect and reversed the disastrous direction his brother’s life was about to take. But now Chanania felt responsible for his older brother’s happiness and future. He felt he had to give his brother this shidduch opportunity: me.
Though they had the similarities that only coming from the same family can afford, it was clear that a zivug is a zivug – and this wasn’t “it.” Obvious to me was that ‘it’ was one of the two Todds from Tuscon who played trumpet. And now it was abundantly clear which one it was. With Chanania’s conscience now cleared, it was obvious to him as well.
My dear friend called me with the news a month after Chanania and I were married: she was engaged. I was thrilled for her and had been thinking of shidduch ideas for her all along. “And we’re going to be sisters-in-law,” she said. She and Shimon (Seth) were married three months later. The blessings were raining down. We just needed some time and maneuvering to catch them.