If I had to sum up last night’s unplanned activities in just one word, that word would hands-down be “cousins.” And rest assured that I am most definitely not referring to those barbaric biblical half-cousins who have taken intense sadistic pleasure in subjecting us to a series of unrelenting attacks and unspeakable carnage for the past ten months and counting.
Quite the contrary, the cousins that featured so prominently in last night’s events are all close relatives whom I see far too seldom, but all of whom occupy cherished real estate in my heart. In times of simcha and likewise in times of need, we all rise to the occasion and happily do whatever is necessary to assist each other and be there for one another, even on very short notice. That is precisely what happened yesterday evening.
When my sister posted the sad news of the sudden passing of a cousin’s father, along with the requisite shiva information, I was inspired to pay a nichum aveilim visit to the bereaved family. However, the logistics involved were somewhat complicated, to say the least.
Due to the circumstances of his father’s petirah abroad, exacerbated by having a busy household of young children to attend to, the notification to the extended family on my side did not arrive until a few days before the end of shiva. My husband, a.k.a. my designated driver, was not available to drive or pay a shiva call at all due to a very busy schedule far from home, so I was effectively on my own.
The shiva house is nearly an hour’s drive from mine, and I was scheduled to be working outside the house from ten a.m. until two p.m. every day. And did I mention that I am a very poor traveler, particularly on public transportation? I routinely experience excruciating dizzy headaches from riding the bus, even while keeping my gaze firmly fixated on the front windshield.
Based on past experience, the only possible way I could survive the long and circuitous bus ride both ways was to take travel medications before embarking on the journey. However, the unpleasant side effect of those pills is drowsiness bordering on extreme exhaustion, which makes it difficult for me to function normally for many hours afterward. Needless to say, that prospect was far from appealing.
I thought of posting on our local email list to see whether anyone was driving to that neighborhood in the coming days, but the chances of anyone nearby to my location driving to that far off destination during the two remaining afternoons of the shiva were infinitesimal, especially since I required a seat up front. It could also take several hours until my posting was approved by the moderators and posted to the list, thereby wasting significant time.
In the end I, baruch Hashem, had a proverbial light bulb moment, and I sent a WhatsApp message to (who else?) a cousin on my husband’s side of the family who lives in close proximity to the shiva house, but is a frequent visitor to my neighborhood.
Her reply was not long in coming.
“I’m actually here right now!” she exclaimed. “I’m babysitting my grandchildren and then have one more errand to run in the area, but I hope to return home around six p.m. If that works for you, it would be my pleasure to take you!”
Wow! A perfect textbook illustration of “Yeshuat Hashem k’heref ayin” (G-d’s salvation comes in the blink of an eye).
I happily responded in the affirmative, and she graciously picked me up a couple of hours later and drove me straight to my destination. Better still, we had ample time to catch up and share anecdotes and observations along the way, making for a very pleasant and relaxing trip.
My cousins were so appreciative and genuinely pleased to see me, and I enjoyed the wonderful bonus of getting to spend some quality time with another dear cousin, my late father’s, z”l, first cousin, the mother-in-law of the avel, who was visiting from the U.S., with yet another teenage cousin of mine whom I had never met before, who had accompanied her on her trip.
Plus I had the opportunity to meet another cousin of theirs, not related to my side of the family, with whom I had a number of friends and acquaintances in common.
After being menachem avel and davening Mincha, I spent a few precious moments catching up with my lovely cousins and admiring their beautiful children and grandchildren.
Yes, it was most definitely an evening featuring lots of cousins in the starring roles! So much so that, although I had, baruch Hashem, been spared the dizzying bus ride on the way there, meeting and getting reacquainted with old and new cousins proved to be a somewhat dizzying experience in and of itself!
After saying my goodbyes and getting directions to the city exit, I made my way to the bus stop to catch an intercity bus for the return trip. I had researched the bus number and timetable before leaving my house, but my driver/cousin and I had set off earlier than anticipated, and I had no idea when the earlier bus home would arrive, only that the schedule seemed to indicate buses at forty-five minute intervals.
However, I need not have been concerned. With undeniable hashgacha pratis once again, the bus pulled up just as I arrived at the bus stop, before I even had a chance to swallow my travel medication. My first choice front seats were already occupied, but the bus was blessedly air conditioned, and the ride was, baruch Hashem, uneventful. I returned home exhausted but with an undeniable sense of contentment and accomplishment.
Thanks to my amazing cousins, I had, baruch Hashem, managed to fulfill an important mitzvah and spend some quality time with an impressive number of relatives on both sides. And thanks to the travel meds, I enjoyed an especially restful night’s sleep!
