From there we soberly drove to our mother´s house (up until a few hours earlier our parents’ house) to partake in a hastily-arranged seudas havra’ah and sit Shiva together, while a steady stream of people found time to abandon their frantic Shabbos and Yom Tov preparations to be menachem us.
The following day, erev Shabbos, I sat Shiva in my own community, to afford my friends and neighbors the opportunity to pay their respects. The fabulous members of our kehilah came bearing gorgeous cheesecakes, salads and mains of every variety, all of which possessed the very same primary ingredients: magnificent love and caring.
Some of the yeshiva boys who were slated to join us decided to make alternate arrangements under the circumstances. Many shyly came to be menachem avel, while others worked quietly but feverishly in my kitchen, putting up a cholent and preparing other Shabbos and Shavuos fare, while I sat incongruously idle on a borrowed low chair in my living room/dining room and spoke with my visitors.
The memory is still surreal, but at the same time, heartwarming: The outpouring of love and support by our shul, the yeshiva bochurim and quite a few others was much-appreciated and therapeutic – plus exquisitely beautiful to behold.
More importantly, the experience taught me so many lessons in chessed, in setting priorities, and in being there when the going gets rough. It also illustrated how minor a player I truly am on this huge stage called life.
Despite my misconception that the show could not go on without me, I figured out pretty quickly how sorely mistaken I was. Our family and the yeshiva bochurim who chose to join us spent a lovely Shabbos and Yom Tov together, with delicious, plentiful food which more than adequately filled our stomachs, while the devoted warmth of friends and neighbors filled our hearts and souls to overflowing. So, aside from all the luscious and attractive offerings, I found myself swallowing a generous slice of humble pie for dessert as well.
A quick look at this year’s calendar reveals that another two-day Z’man Matan Toraseinu is just around the bend. And although Shavuos still did not quite make it to the top position in my favorite holiday roster, the indelible memory of that bittersweet Yom Tov will forever live on in my heart and mind.
