In my book, Lessons in Law of Attraction, I talk about my journey to discovering the true power of our minds and emotions. Law of attraction is the concept that what we think, feel and believe creates our reality; that how we truly feel about ourselves and our experiences is what we attract into our lives.
I was led to the concept of law of attraction after experiencing myriad of unexplainable hardships in my life. I would cry out to G-d from the depths of my soul asking “why is this happening to me?!” Never did I think I would actually get a clear answer, but that is exactly what happened.
I, like many, was one of those people who “did every trick in the book” religiously and spiritually to try to get my problems to go away. I davened , recited tehillim and got my mezuzah repeatedly checked. I recited Nishmat Kol Chai in increments of 40 days (for almost 2 years!), I wrote letters to be put in the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Ohel and had notes put in the Kotel. I davened my heart out by the Shabbos candles, I davened for people in Heaven to pray on my behalf, I took on being more careful to not use the 18 minutes when lighting Shabbos candles and to do my best to light on time.
For years, I begged G-d for help and understanding. I had cried my heart out at shul (in front of hundreds of people, at times) – literally leaving wet spots on the floor from my tears. After years of praying came the answers which were revealed to me in two parts – the first is in my book, Lessons in Law of Attraction, the second part will G-d willing be revealed in its sequel.
In March of 2019, my life had turned upside down, seemingly overnight. I was in a place of bittul – of nothingness. I woke up each morning in a daze, not knowing what to do with myself. Life seemed eerily silent except for some annoying noise I heard every morning that I couldn’t place. I was so immersed in my emotional pain, I hadn’t realized the signs that Hashem had sent me – literally just outside my window.
I remember at the time, having one of the weirdest experiences of my life – of verbally hearing my intuition tell me “the story’s not over.” My intuition had always been no more than a feeling, but an inner voice had suddenly spoken up. I remember mentally responding “how could that be?” and sure enough, within two months, life got better.
What I hadn’t realized at that time was that the “annoying noise” I heard every morning was actually a sign from G-d. Each day, Hashem sent a pair of doves to perch on the windowsill to let me know that everything would be okay. It’s amazing how many signs and answers we miss when we aren’t in the right emotional state to see it.
During my time of “nothingness,” I did whatever I could to try to distract myself and feel a sense of peace. I was lead to myriad of spiritual self-help resources including two best-selling books by Louise Hay (a famous self-help author most known for teaching self-love) and a lot of random videos on YouTube. Eventually, I was led to something known as “The Law of Attraction.”
I immediately went to one of the local Kollel Rabbis and asked him about what I had learned. I told him that I came across some secular spiritual information saying that what we think, feel and believe is what manifests in our lives. His immediate reply was “there’s something in Kabbalah about that.” To which my reply was, “I should have known that’s where it originated.” That began my search for answers.
One of my biggest questions was “why did Hashem have me find answers to my prayers in secular spirituality instead of Jewish resources?” I spoke about it with my mother who said that it’s okay to find good information from other places, but that the reason is that most likely it would be easier for me to understand. (This comes in the context of my mother knowing that I know how to filter information and that I wouldn’t get myself into forbidden topics.)
The main principle I had learned is that everything has a cause and effect, that the energy we put out is the energy that we get back. Simply put, we can only experience what we are an energetic match to (because like attracts like) and we have the power to change our vibration (energetic output) to live a better life. Another thing that I learned is that, with the same concept, the energy that a person is in when they ask a question is different than the energy they are in when they are able to receive an answer. In other words, I finally understood that it’s not that Hashem wasn’t answering my prayers, but rather that I wasn’t in a place where I could recognize and hear the answers He was giving me. The same was true with the birds on the windowsill.
There are so many times when we feel angry at G-d because we feel that He “isn’t there,” isn’t listening or isn’t helping us. Many times we get mad about the situations we are put in, not understanding that what we are experiencing is Hashem’s opportunity for us to notice our inner feelings so that we may fix them. The thing is, every single thing we experience in life is there to teach us something as well as show us a mirror of the energy we are putting out. We can only see the channel that we are tuned to. If we are filled with despair and hopelessness, that is what we will see and if we are filled with love and hopefulness, that is what we will experience.
After spending years trying every spiritual hack in the book, I realized it wasn’t just my mezuzah that needed to be checked, but also myself. I learned to stop blaming others for the experiences in my life and started asking myself how I feel about myself and the world because what manifests on the outside is information that Hashem gives us so we can heal internally. I’m not going to say that I never get mad or upset at anyone, because I am human, I most certainly do. The difference is that now I ask myself, “what am I feeling on the inside that created this circumstance on the outside?”
It is for the same reason that when you are frustrated about running late that you somehow magically find a way to hit every single red light, and when you are in a serendipitous state, everything seems to wonderfully fall into place. When life doesn’t go the way we want it to, it is no different than when your car has its “check engine light” on. It’s just there to tell you there’s something internal that needs to be fixed.
There are many people who try to use the law of attraction to get material items like fancy cars or expensive homes. However, I believe it’s more important to utilize our power of thoughts and emotions to live a better quality life, in general. In my opinion, law of attraction is a self-help tool. Maybe that’s why Hashem led me to this information, so I could both use and teach these concepts so that they could be elevated and used as a way to improve our lives and get closer to Hashem.
I am a true believer that there is always a message in everything we experience. Even with this pandemic, or should I say especially with this pandemic, to me it’s a clear one. Hashem is telling us to go inside and I take that as a metaphor. It’s not just about being inside your home, it’s about being inside with your own soul. As hard as things have been, it’s also an opportunity to be reflective and change your life for the better. Take a moment to examine your inner beliefs and also your self-worth. A person who truly feels good about him or herself on the inside will have that manifest on the outside. Most of the time, when we say we are worthy of good things, we only say that with our ego – it’s about learning to truly feel our worth deep down so it radiates from within us. As I said, everything we experience is a mirror and that mirror is an opportunity to take an honest look at ourselves and change our lives.
Once you begin to realize the patterns and inner feelings within yourself and in your life – talk to your Creator. Hashem wants us to be happy and healthy and live our best lives. Taking 10-15 minutes a day to speak with Hashem can go a long way.
May Hashem guide you to whatever you need to heal in order to live a happy and meaningful life.
