Making ends meet is a challenge every month. Our budget is tight, but with Hashem’s help, we’ve always managed to pull through. Somehow, we never missed a mortgage payment, never failed to pay the kids’ tuition. We even managed to swing renovations and other extras over the years.
Then came Bassie’s engagement. We were so excited to meet our daughter’s chasan and his family. This was truly a milestone we always dreamed of. But in all my dreams, I never pictured the strings attached.
Instantly, we were thrown into a pool of expenses – a deep, unending need for green. Cash, cash, more cash. We needed money for gifts and money for the wedding night; money for the couple’s apartment and money for housewares and clothes and… the list went on and on.
It just didn’t seem to make any sense. Any money we had saved up for “wedding expenses” was gobbled up for the engagement party alone. I had no clue where to turn.
My husband, forever an optimist, told me resolutely, “I will not fall into the cycle of borrowing. No gemachim for me!”
You see, in our community in Eretz Yisrael, many families manage to marry off their children thanks to the help of generous interest-free money lenders. As they pay off their debt, these families often need to take out fresh loans to repay the old, and then repeat.
“I won’t have it that way,” my husband repeated, “And I truly believe that Hashem can find other ways to send us the money we need.”
I nodded along, agreeing with my husband’s approach. Still, something deep inside me questioned how much hishtadlus we were meant to be doing.
I knew I should be running around to stores, shopping for everything our kallah needed. I knew we should be reviewing menus with the caterer and shaitels with the shaitel macher. But I was so stressed out. Without the funds at my disposal, I kept procrastinating the inevitable. My to-do list grew longer and hardly anything got crossed off.
“What’s gonna be?” I asked my husband for the umpteenth time. Not that I expected a coherent response. We both knew what boat we were in. But to my surprise, my husband handed me a pile of envelopes. “Here,” he said, “Let’s mark down each expense on a separate envelope. Write how much money is needed for each thing.”
This was a funny exercise. But it wasn’t hard. I took out my list and began to copy each item onto a separate envelope. Clothes. Furniture. Housewares. Gowns. Hall. I named the price near each expenditure.
My husband gathered the pile and straightened it. In a voice laden with emotion, he said, “Now, Hashem, we’ve prepared the vessels. We know You will fill them.” And he pulled out his Tehillim and tearfully recited one word at a time.
I left the room, in awe of my husband’s simple faith. Something stirred inside me – and I just knew there was no way Hashem would miss listening to his pleas…
The shrill ring of the telephone shook me out of my reverie. Right there – yes, at the very same moment that my husband was pouring out his heart in prayer, we received our reply.
It was the neighbor downstairs, Riki Engel, on the phone.
“Remember the agreement we made eight years ago, before you began building your extension?”
Sure! There was no way I could forget. Living in an apartment building poses all sorts of challenges. One really gets to work on his middos and his relationships bein adam l’chaveiro. Talk about getting along with neighbors…
Eight years earlier, we wanted to expand and build out. We needed the Engels’ cooperation. While extending our porch would diminish some of their sunlight, the beams we were erecting would form a frame that they could use if they chose to build out, too.
With our blueprints in hand, we visited the Engels. We hoped they would be on board and join us in the renovation process. The Engels were kind enough not to stop us from moving forward with our plans, but they weren’t ready to extend their own apartment just yet. “Whenever we do decide to build, and we’ll be ready to use the beams you are building beside our apartment, we’ll pay you back for half the expense.” This was somewhat standard practice in our parts. We agreed.
And now, just after we had prepared the receptacle for His bounty in the form of a pile of labeled envelopes, while my husband was still fervently praying for mercy, we received the heads up.
“We are ready to build,” Riki said. “And we want to pay you for the beams.”
Over the next few days, the Engels settled their matters with the bank, and we received the amount owed to us in full. Not surprisingly, the cash filled our envelopes and we were even left with extra.
To say that I felt enveloped in His warmth would be an understatement. It was such a clear hug, a feeling of utter closeness with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. It was a true catalyst for calm, happy wedding preparations.