Sunday morning. I was about eight years old and rummaging around in the fridge for something yummy to drink. The coke and orange pop from our Shabbos meals were all gone. Milk was not particularly appetizing, and neither were the tomato juice, grapefruit juice, or water. The seltzer bottle’s protruding nozzle beckoned me – dared me to try. But seltzer is for bubbies and zeidies. Kids don’t touch the stuff.
I accepted my dare and bravely pulled out the cylindrical, metal capped glass bottle.
I stuck the nozzle straight into my mouth, pressed the lever, and took a swig. I choked on the fizzy water, failed to swallow, and the bubbly liquid shpritzed out of my nose! The slightly sour-salty taste surprised me. Why do they drink this icky stuff? I won’t drink this, even when I’m old like Bubby.
Despite my declared principles, I love the stuff today. Call it Sparkling Water, Carbonated Water, Club Soda, or just plain seltzer – that is the only bubbly that I drink.
When I was of shidduchim age, I remember staring at an older woman in the dress store. Although she was three times my age, she was modeling in front of the full length mirror the same cute outfit that I had just tried on! I admit that she was fashionably slim and the outfit fit her body. But not her age! Her ponytailed wig also looked silly in my young mind. I vowed that when I reach her age, even if I am still (hopefully) slim, I will not dress like a teeny-bopper.
Nonetheless, when I showed my eighteen-year-old granddaughter the pretty flowered skirt that I had just bought, she asked me where I bought it. She then went out and bought the same skirt (four sizes smaller).
The skirt was age-appropriate for whom?
When walking down a sunny Jerusalem street with my father, he would attach clip-on sunglasses to his bifocals. When we would walk into an office or store, he would just flip them up so that he could let in the light. Perfectly practical and reasonable. But I cringed as children stared in curiosity and amusement at the dark plastic roof that rested atop his glasses. In my eyes, too, it did look rather odd and very unattractive.
I decided then and there that if I want to wear sunglasses, I will buy a pair. I can use my prescription glasses indoors, and take them off and put on the prescription sunglasses when it is sunny outdoors.
However, today you may see me walking down sunny Jerusalem streets with clip-ons over my progressive-lens glasses, because firstly, sunglasses with progressive lenses are very expensive. Secondly, since I can’t bear being in the dark while indoors, I would have to carry two pairs of glasses. One pair would rest on my nose, and the other pair would rest in the glasses case in my bag. I would be constantly taking off and putting on one of them, as I would go from indoors to outdoors.
Clip-ons are the perfect solution. Who cares what I look like and if kids stare? Maybe when they are older and need glasses they will gratefully recall this enlightening solution.
Not so long afterwards, an elderly guest dozed off in middle of our conversation! Did he feel bored with our talk – or was he just very sleepy? I felt embarrassed for him, and was certain that he would be mortified when he would resurface. When he woke up a few minutes later, he didn’t even realize that he had been asleep, and rejoined the conversation where he had left off!
I certainly didn’t want that to happen to me! I instructed my children that in the highly unlikely event that I ever fall asleep in middle of conversation – give me a nudge immediately! And if I ever fall asleep at the Shabbos table with my mouth hanging open – pinch me! And if I begin to snore – kick me!
So far, when this highly unlikely event occurs, the kids gently whisper in my ear, “Imma, Imma, you’re not asleep, right?”
One behavior of seniors that really irked me was when tell their friend’s adult children that they remember them when they were still in diapers/with a pacifier/when they were thrown out of cheder, etc. Is there anyone who enjoys being reminded in public of their early years and escapades? Who gains by this revelation? Why would any reasonable person speak like that?
So why did I tell my good friend’s son at his wedding, in front of his kallah that I remember him not only at his bar mitzvah, but also at his bris? I should have known better.
Have you noticed on Shabbos in shul, those black athletic shoes that so many mature ladies sport? When I turned the half-century mark it looked to me so incongruous – ladies decked in velvet and lace, gold and diamonds – and sport shoes? Admittedly, my high heels were a real pain in the neck and back – especially during Shemoneh Esrei. but I wouldn’t give in. Yet a mere decade later, aching knees banished the spike heels, pumps, platforms, and block heels that had taken up residence in my closet. Their space has been taken up with Nikes and New Balances. Those mature ladies were right! But I am still learning to toe the line, as I kept two pairs of wedges – for Shabbos only.
I am still on the journey of learning – from older and younger people alike. I am viewing people with a less critical eye. The most important lesson for me is to simply refrain from judging others. To each her own!
