Finances in a Jewish home can sometimes get puzzling. Does more money go out than comes in? It is safe to argue that even your average family that manages to keep up with the day-to-day expenses faces a challenge when it comes to weddings. There, many people get very lost.
After all, this beautiful milestone comes along with loads of excitement. And a hefty price tag. For many, this means that a wedding poses a worrisome challenge: how can all the expenses be covered?
This phenomenon is widespread across the globe, but perhaps it is extra challenging for Jews in Israel.
It was during the summer vacation when a prominent rosh yeshiva was away on a retreat with his yeshiva. One of the boys who was just about ready to begin dating, and had his eye on the future, asked the million-dollar question: “How am I supposed to handle the finances? How will I be able to cover my monthly cost of living? What should I do to ensure I’ll have enough for long term expenses?”
The rosh yeshiva calmly replied, “Every person has his own story, every person has his own miracles.”
Indeed, who can’t write a book?
But the boy would not be persuaded by these wise, faith-laden words.
“Tell me,” the boy pressed, “Perhaps the rosh yeshiva is on a stipend from the yeshiva that may cover the monthly expenses. But how did the rosh yeshiva manage to marry off a child?!”
He earnestly wanted to hear how finances were to be handled. And his last question was a great trigger that drew a powerful story out of the rosh yeshiva’s mouth.
With a sparkle in his eye, the rabbi began to tell his story.
“At the time when my oldest daughter was born, I was giving a weekly shiur in Tel Aviv. My audience was a growing group of people who were not yet entirely committed to Judaism. But they seemed to enjoy my talks and they came often.
“One day, a woman who never had any children approached me and said there was something she wanted to ask me. I was sure she had some philosophical question in emunah. I immediately said a perek of Tehillim, silently begging HaKadosh Baruch Hu to put the right words in my mouth as I answered her question.
“I was still very young at the time, and I took my role very seriously. But nothing could have prepared me for the surprise that was to come.
“The woman was crying and between the sobs, she told me, ‘I don’t have any children. I would love to perpetuate my memory in some way. Can I ask you if you would mind naming your daughter after me?’ And she promised that if I agreed, she would begin to keep Shabbos.
“I was in utter shock. This was an unusual request! I presented the idea to Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a, who advised me to go ahead with the deal. We made a kiddush and gave that woman’s name to our new pink bundle.
“In time, I took on the position of rosh yeshiva and I stopped giving those classes in Tel Aviv. True, it was difficult at times. My job didn’t provide much, financially speaking. And with the years, my daughter reached the age of shidduchim…I had no idea how I would marry her off. When I say I had no money for her wedding expenses, I really mean it: I had none.
“One day, I received a phone call from a lawyer who told me to come down to his office right away. I had no idea what claim was being made against me. What had I done wrong?
“When I arrived at his office, the lawyer said, ‘Listen, I have the will of Mrs. So-and-so who just passed away,’ and the lawyer named this woman, my daughter’s namesake. ‘She left her apartment in your name.’ Yes! An entire apartment in an upscale area of Tel Aviv was now mine!
“And that’s how I married off my eldest daughter,” the rosh yeshiva concluded.