I was totally shocked at my reaction. So was my husband. Although I am highly emotional and admittedly cry easily and often, this type of sobbing was unusual even for me. And crying over an object, rather than sad news or another’s pain or illness was totally out of character for me. This was new and unchartered territory, and neither of us knew what to do next.
The ‘crisis’ had begun several months earlier with the unfortunate realization that I desperately needed a new weekday sheitel. That was patently obvious. What was less straight forward, unfortunately, was how to go about paying for it. The $60 synthetic sheitels that were de rigueur when I got married forty-two years ago had somehow been upstaged by custom lace tops and lace caps costing more than 100 times that! And while I had no yetzer hara for that type of wig in any case, I definitely did not begin to have the budget for even a much simpler, less expensive hairpiece.
Truth be told, I was not adverse to buying a second-hand sheitel like the well-worn ten-plus-year-old ‘birds’ nest’ that I was now so anxious to replace. And that is precisely how I spied the perfect sheitel shidduch! Someone on our local email list posted two sheitels for sale, both the color I needed and from the company I preferred. And both had been worn only a handful of times and were in excellent condition.
However, the asking price was significantly more than I had in mind, so I basically said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and forgot about it. Then the woman reached out with a reduced price, but it was still too much. I mentioned to her that my daughter-in-law the sheitel macher had told me that even a sheitel that was hardly worn depreciates over the years. She admitted that the sheitels were chronologically five years old, and then reduced the price to about half of her original quote.
Now I was ecstatic! I was already envisioning my beautiful new/old sheitel on my sheitel head and on my head! I made up to come try it on and was sure it would be perfect.
Long story short, another potential customer managed to jump the queue ahead of me, and she happily walked off with both wigs, after I had effectively negotiated them down to a fair price!
I am sincerely aware that everything is bashert, and am well-schooled in emunah and bitachon. So I was understandably shocked and horrified when I burst into inconsolable sobbing when I heard the news. One moment I was so close to obtaining the longed-for sheitel of my dreams, and the next I was back to square one.
More months passed with no viable prospects, and my birds’ nest seemed doom to grace my head forever.
Then my daughter-in-law left for the U.S. for a 10-day business trip, and unexpectedly pulled a ‘Robin Hood.’ She visited her parents and noticed that her mother had a spare sheitel in her closet. Upon interrogation, her mother replied, “That’s the sheitel I wear in the rain!”
“My mother-in-law needs it more than you do!” declared my daughter-in-law, and her mother agreed to donate it to the cause.
She washed and styled it and then brought it to me to try on for size.
Here’s where I can tie up this article with the proverbial bow, and we all live happily ever after. However real life seldom works that way. The color and cap size worked, but the short bangs did not. I felt like it was payback time for inadvertently cutting one daughter’s bangs too short years earlier.
So, as much as I would have been thrilled to simultaneously put my sheitel woes and this article to bed, I eventually got up the courage to tell my daughter-in-law that the pilfered sheitel did not work for me. So much for “Beggars can’t be choosers”!
I felt like my sheitel quest was increasingly reminiscent of a losing game of Chutes and Ladders.
Then I received an email from a local tzedakah organization about their annual Chinese auction. I had actually planned to make a donation in any case, and the email specifically stated that all the proceeds were considered 100% tzedakah, so of course I put in for the 5,000 NIS sheitel voucher.
I truthfully have never won anything of value at a Chinese auction, but I reasoned that I should do my hishtadlus, and leave the rest to Hashem. Not one to hedge my bets, however, I also looked into a limited-time sheitel sale that my sister-in-law mentioned. Although the prices were very fair, my budget could not realistically handle that purchase. I went to bed feeling satisfied that I had put in my requisite effort, come what may.
Ironically, right after I emerged from the shower in the morning, I received a shidduch-related call from my younger sister’s best friend, asking whether I knew and could provide reliable information about a family in my neighborhood. Ironic because I had never met the people in question, but I was still engaged in an ongoing email exchange with the woman regarding a used sheitel she had posted for sale! I promised to do my due diligence and reach out to trustworthy neighbors and friends who might know the prospective shidduch’s family, and then proceeded to contact a few friends to attempt to solicit the required information.
Unfortunately neither of the well-connected friends I contacted was able to provide the information I needed. However, when I mentioned to my good friend down the block about my ongoing sheitel-related negotiations with the woman in question, she responded with a totally unexpected but sincerely welcome reply.
“You need a new sheitel? I have a brand-new shoulder-length brown sheitel sitting somewhere in my closet!”
And when I enthusiastically expressed my interest, she continued, “I have a few errands to run, but be’H when I get back home this evening I’ll dig it up…”
True to her word, she contacted me several hours later, “I found it!” she exclaimed. “It’s a size small cap, which does not work for me. If you like it, it’s yours!”
I hurried over to her apartment, where she happily presented me with the wig, including the classy Burberry bag it had come in.
I rushed home to try it on, and although I ordinarily wear a medium cap, this particular sheitel fit me comfortably b’H. And instead of the no-name brand I had expected, the tag inside read: Ralph Wig Collection 100% Italian hair. This time I nearly keeled over from a totally different (and far more welcome!) type of shock!
My daughter-in-law the sheitel macher saw it a few days later and could not stop exclaiming over the beautiful luxurious hair. Better yet, she offered to cut and style it for me gratis.
I conferred with my husband, and we agreed that instead of accepting the high-end sheitel as a gift, I should donate the exact amount that I had been prepared to pay for the wig that got away to a wonderful organization that this friend established to service our community.
So, in classic win/win fashion, I unexpectedly became the proud owner of a beautiful brand new wig and my friend’s organization benefited from an unexpected windfall of a couple of thousand shekel.
In case you were wondering, neither my daughter nor I won the 5,000 shekel wig voucher. I guess even miracles have their limits!
