Yes, you are reading right. Where are the candies? And as you will continue reading you will understand why. I was on my way to hear my son reading for the first time in the Torah. It was our son’s Shabbos bar mitzvah and his first aliyah laTorah. Finally the day had come. My excitement was indescribable. And then while walking on my way to shul everything changed. l suddenly remembered that I completely forgot about the candies that are to be bestowed upon the chosson bar mitzvah after he finishes reading for the first time.
This reminded me how a half a year earlier when my twin sister made her first son’s bar mitzvah. I asked her ” Mally, where are the candies?” As I wanted to get them ready to be thrown on him as soon as he finished reading. She told me she completely forgot about them. My response to her was how could you forget the candies. And I remembered how I couldn’t empathize with her, forgetting about the candies.
And here a half a year later at my own son’s bar mitzvah I found myself in the exact same situation.
I knew right away this was not a coincidence. I felt Hashem had put me in the exact same situation and was waiting to see how I would deal with it now.
So, I told myself, let’s see how you will deal with it the right way and what you will be doing about it.
Walking up the steps to shul, I was thinking about the candies. Opening up the Chumash, I was thinking about the candies. Hearing my son’s voice reading in the Torah, I was still thinking about the candies…
And then I caught myself thinking, could this really be? This was the moment I was most waiting for. To hear my beautiful son’s voice reading in the Torah with the utmost perfection. But instead I found myself completely distracted and absent because of the candies that I myself had forgotten to arrange.
I realized I had to make a decision and more than that. I realized that I had to give up control and rather have faith.
So I decided to be faithful and to believe that if Hashem wants me to have candies for this occasion, then nothing is too small or too big for him to do, it’s up to me to believe in Him.
Of course to such a decision there is always this little voice accompanying me and telling me secretly, who are you to put yourself into such a decision. But nonetheless I kept going with my decision made up of 99% faith in my heart.
Finally, I found myself being present at hearing my beautiful son’s voice reading and seeing the beautiful pesukim that are written in Parashat Devarim.
I literally brought myself to a level where I had no worries and completely forgot about the candies, letting Hashem take care of it.
And indeed it was between me and Hashem, nobody else knew about the forgotten candies.
It was towards the end of the reading when all of a sudden I saw my two little children walking around with candies in their hands and huge lollipops in their mouths.
I looked up and said, Hashem, nothing is too big or too small for you to do and nothing should be too small or too big for us to put faith in your abilities!
