There are many different types of relationships: parents and children, spouses, colleagues at work or at school, and family members on all levels. The list goes on and on.
Most of the time when we think of the term “relationships,” the association is usually of friends, love, affection, devotion, good will, and harmony. However sometimes a relationship can go sour, and in place of the love and harmony come disagreement and antagonism, disassociation and division.
How from a loving husband and wife with butterflies in their bellies, and stars all around, can that same couple end up in an ugly divorce, battling over everything?
We are social creatures, and even the unsociable ones out there are still forced to interact with other people. Most of us are not hermits living in some tent at the top of a mountain all alone.
Before technology connected everyone at the touch of a finger, people were scattered all over with barely any connection other than to the people that surrounded them. And still they were not alone; they shared their lives with the ones that surrounded them. We are lucky that today one can live miles away from another and still stay in touch.
I know of a young couple that was married for about two years, and they simply didn’t get along. They had a cute little child and yet they just didn’t seem to make it together. It’s sad and in our days so common among the young couples.
What happened to this generation of young adults? Why is it so easy to get married and even easier to get a divorce? Where did the sense of working things out go? Young people often think, “I’ll get married and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get divorced.”
The world we live in is very advanced mechanically and technologically. However, I feel that the more advanced the physical world becomes, the more distant the people become from their emotions and their thoughts.
Many people today are being sucked into the electronic and computerized devices. The youth suffer from this connection more than anyone else. Little children at the young age of three already know out how to download a cartoon or play game on a parent’s smartphone.
When I was three, all I can remember was playing outside when the weather was nice and playing indoor games when the weather would not allow it. Today the first thing a child asks his parents after eating lunch or dinner is, “Can I play on your phone?”
I feel that this computer age has its strong points, but its downfalls unfortunately fall on the young adults whose emotional side and coping skills are not as developed as they should be. We spend so much time on our smartphones that we don’t have the emotional strength to deal with any discomfort. The speed at which we can achieve instant gratification on our phones or computers doesn’t leave room for too much growth.
Once if you had a fight with someone you loved or was hurt by them you would pick a flower for them, and tell them you wanted to talk about what happened. You could smile at them or even give a hug. This process of amends hardly exists today. The disagreements are by WhatsApp or other social media. No one sees anyone face to face. People can communicate electronically for months without ever meeting each other in person.
And if they do fight, they can send an angry emoji, and when they make up, they might send a heart emoji or a smiley. We have lost so much sensitivity. The look in the other persons face. Their expression when they are happy or sad. It’s all just letters or emojis on a screen. With that in mind, what tools does this young and growing generation have?
The young people usually think they know it all. But the tools that the youth have today are very technical. Almost like robots. And that’s the point. They are smarter than ever before, but they are more disconnected than ever before. Today one can do many things alone. To find an address just type it into Waze. Once if you were lost you would open your window and ask someone how to get somewhere. You would say, “Thanks,” smile, and the other person would feel good that they helped you out. On trains people are so immersed in their phones it’s a miracle anyone gets off at the right stop. People shop online instead of going to a store and interact with a. We once know the grocery man by name.
The advantages of technology are super. But the loss of human touch is devastating.
When two people get married and shortly thereafter come to believe that they cannot make the marriage work, this has a lot to do with our expectation that every problem has a fast solution. If you don’t like something, just delete it. It’s such a sad situation. We jump into relationships without thinking. And then when we want to leave it’s so much more complicated. There may already a child to care for, and now this young couple is faced with custody battles, courts, and money issues. Why?
They didn’t think too much before they got into the relationship, and they don’t have the tools to deal with the separation or complications that come with the divorce.
In this fast- paced age, I pray that we will have the energy and ability to take our time and not be hasty in making our decisions. May we think without our phones in our hands. May we express ourselves with a real smile or hug and not just settle for a cute emoji or even a text message, “I love you.”
Let’s remember to talk on the phone and not just send messages; meet face to face when you can, instead of meeting on a chat group or something of the sort.
And if we do decide to end a relationship that we thought was good, may we not forget that it’s alright to miss someone you had a relationship with, without wanting to go back to that same person.
May we think with our minds and hearts, and let our fingers only do the technical work. Keep your emotions and spirit alive and functioning.