This world is a mystery. The bad guys seem to have great success, justice doesn’t always seem to be true justice, so often the good die young, and the wealth seems to go to stingy people. People who seem healthy are sick and miserable inside, while many sick and disabled individuals seem to be very happy and content.
We all have good days, and days we wish would end before they even begin.
If someone were to tell us that tomorrow we would receive 2 million dollars we would already rejoice today. And the opposite is true as well. If someone told us that tomorrow we would lose a lot of money or become ill, G-d forbid, we would start mourning already. We cannot see the future. Our knowledge of what will be in the future is not based on fortune-telling, rather on the path we set in motion for ourselves with the actions we take. And yet we cannot see all the steps down the line. We cannot see or predict everything that will happen to us.
There is the natural course of events that will occur according to the lifestyle we set out for ourselves. However life is full of surprises and unexpected turns. A bad day, a small thing like a ticket from a policeman, or a major event such as an illness or loss of money, can throw us way off track. We wonder why these things happen to us. We have plans and things to do and the unexpected events that occur to us, are not included in our plans and they confuse us and upset us beyond words.
Hashem set the world in motion and is in charge of this world, at all times. We know this as a fact, but we do not necessarily feel this protection when something goes wrong in our day. Our first instinct is usually: why is this happening to us? At that moment we lose sight of the big picture, and all we see is our pain and discomfort. We are upset that we were set off our original path and plans. But who really sets our path and plans in motion? Who really knows what is best for us? Yet we do not see this when we are in pain or in sorrow.
I have mentioned in the past that I have a special needs child. His medical chart lists all his limitations. One of his limitations is the fact that his eye sight is impaired. I spend every day with my son, and I feel that my son can see ten times better than any healthy person I know.
My son doesn’t speak, nor can he move, yet the communication between us is loud and clear. His body is disabled but his neshamah, his soul, is soaring high. We say in the prayers of Rosh Hashanah, “ha-neshama lach… our souls are in Your hands and our bodies function on Your command; please have mercy on Your creation.”
In this verse we are expressing our dependence in all aspects of life, in our Creator. We are all in the hands of Hashem. My son, who seems so out of touch with this physical world, is completely in touch with his soul. His neshamah is alive and well. I’ve mentioned in the past that we do not see merely because we have eyes; rather we see because our soul is alive inside each of us, and G-d enables us to see through our eyes. Does this mean that if our physical eyes do not function, we cannot see? Physical sight is very limited, and yet the sight of the soul is infinite.
Sometimes I sit by my son’s bed and share with him my day’s events. Sometimes I cry from an off day and sometimes I’m overwhelmed at the amount of difficult circumstances I have to face in my life. The times I’m most upset or sad are the days that my son smiles at me, and it seems at times as if he is even laughing at me. I can almost hear him telling me, “Mommy why are you so upset? You can’t see and don’t really understand but everything that is happening to you is really good. Don’t cry. I can see that Hashem loves you very much and is watching every step you make. Hashem is guiding you in the best way possible.”
It is known that a person with a certain disability such as being deaf or blind has the rest of their senses very fine-tuned as to make up for what they are lacking. If a person cannot see, their hearing is acute, or if they can’t hear their eye sight is fine-tuned, and so on.
My son’s physical existence in this world is close to nothing. But his spiritual capacities are very great. He isn’t bothered by the worries of the world, and his mind is clear and pure. He doesn’t speak badly about anyone and is connected 24/7 to Hashem.
So as we enter the holiest days of the year and begin Rosh Hashanah, let us tune into the right channel and fix our sight so that we may really see and understand what it is G-d has planned for us, and not the reverse.
May we be written and inscribed in the book of long life, health, wealth and happiness and all good things. Shanah tovah.