It is no coincidence that the mitzvah of performing teshuvah is read before Rosh Hashanah each year in Parshas Nitzavim. The Ramban in this week’s parshah explains that the mitzvah of performing teshuvah is derived from the pasuk “for [this mitzvah] is close to you, it is in your mouth and in your heart to perform” (Devarim 30:11).
The Mesilas Yesharim (perek 4) says that according to the letter of the law there should be no room for teshuvah. He explains that this is because once the crime was committed how can one undo what was done? Can one bring back to life one who he has been murdered? Says the Mesilas Yesharim, teshuvah only exists in the realm of lifnim meshuras hadin – above the letter of the law, because Hashem acts through middas harachamim.
Rav Elchanan Wasserman, zt”l, asked the Chafetz Chaim that this seems to be in contradiction with the Gemara in Keddushin 40b. The Gemara there says that if one if righteous his entire life, but rebels at the end of his life and regrets performing all of his mitzvos, he will lose the reward of performing all of his mitzvos. Says Rav Elchanan, we see that even without the middas harachamim, when one regrets his previous actions he will not be held accountable for them. Clearly, removing one’s reward is not the work of the middas harachamim. Why then does the Mesilas Yesharim say that teshuvah will only work to remove one’s averos in the realm of lifnim meshuras hadin?
The Chafetz Chaim answered that there are two forms of teshuvah; teshuvah m’ahava and teshuvah m’yirah. When one does teshuvah m’yirah he is not actually regretting performing the averos; he only fears the harsh punishment. As a result, he wishes to repent. This is an acceptable form of teshuvah, however this form requires the middas harachamim to remove the wrong that he has done. However, teshuvah m’ahava is when one wishes to repent because he honestly regrets that what he has done, for he understands that it was wrong. In this case his teshuvah will remove the averos without the aid of the middas harachamim.
This can work to one’s detriment as well. When one rebels and regrets performing mitzvos, he has the same level of regret as one who has performed teshuvah m’ahava. Therefore, he will lose the reward for his mitzvos., since when one honestly regrets his actions they are removed, in the letter of the law.
Rav Elchanan suggested another solution. He cites the Mesilas Yesharim in his sefer Derech Hashem,who explains that when one performs any of the mitzvos besides the fulfilling of the commandment and listening to Hashem, he also accomplishes a tikkun and sheleimus. There is a purpose that is accomplished with every mitzvah that we are generally not aware of. The Avos were able to recognize these purposes and thereby understood what to do even before the Torah was given. Similarly when one performs an avera aside from not listening to what Hashem has commanded he has created something negative in the spiritual world.
When one regrets what he has done he only removes the aspect of whether he did or didn’t adhere to the command of Hahsem. Whatever was created by his actions will remain even after one regrets what he has done. Therefore, when one regrets performing mitzvos he will lose the reward of listening to the command of Hahsem. However he will remain with the fact that he created all of the tikkunim and sheleimus with his actions and will be rewarded accordingly.
All this is within the letter of the law. However the Torah put into place with the mitzvah of teshuvah and by implementing the middas harachamim that when one does teshuvah and regrets performing the averos that he did, Hashem will remove even the negativities that he created when he performed those averos.