In our parsha this week, the Torah relates, “Vayavei Yosef es dibasom ra’ah el avihem – Yosef brought villainous tidings (about his brothers) to their Father (Yaakov).” This act of lashon hara caused Yosef to be sold into slavery and unleashed the dreadful suffering of the Jews in Mitzrayim. Here is a timely story to influence us to take active measures to protect ourselves from this hazardous sin.
The Piryo Masuk relates a fascinating inquiry that was brought to Rav Zilberstein, shlit”a. A couple was having a very difficult time having a child. After a long wait, the wife finally got pregnant only to have a very messy miscarriage. They went to a Gadol who advised them to accept upon themselves to learn two halachos from the Chofetz Chaim about lashon hara every day and to accept upon themselves to continue doing so even after they will have the baby. In that zechus, informed the Gadol, they would be blessed with a child. Indeed, a short time afterwards she became pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
There then arose a dispute between the husband and the wife concerning the child’s name. The wife wanted to name the child Yisroel Meir after the Chofetz Chaim since the learning of his halachos brought about the birth of the child. The husband wanted to name the child after his paternal grandfather especially since his father was still alive and it would bring his father great joy, thereby fulfilling the mitzvah of kibud av.
Rav Zilberstein paskened that they should call the child Yisroel Meir after the Chofetz Chaim. He brought a proof from the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu named his first child Gershom and his second child Eliezer. This was very surprising since Eliezer was named as a commemoration of the great miracle that saved Moshe Rabbeinu’s life. While still in Egypt, Dasan and Aviram informed on Moshe Rabbeinu to Pharoah revealing that Moshe slew the Mitzri. Pharoah apprehended Moshe Rabbeinu and condemned him to be beheaded. Moshe Rabbeinu’s neck was already on the executioner’s block and the sword was coming down upon him when Hashem made a miracle and Moshe Rabbeinu’s neck turned into marble, and he was able to escape. In commemoration, he called his son Eliezer, a corruption of “Elokei Avi b’Ezri – The G-d of my Fathers stood by me, Va’yatzileini mei’cherev Pharoah – And saved me from the sword of Pharoah.” The name Gershom, on the other hand, commemorated a later event. “Ki ger hoyisi b’eretz nochriya – I was a stranger in a foreign land (the land of Midyan).”
It is surprising that the names are not in chronological order, for first Moshe Rabbeinu was saved from the sword of Pharoah and only then was he a fugitive in Midyan. So why did he give the name Gershom first? The answer, says Rav Zilberstein, is that it was imperative that Moshe Rabbeinu remember that he was only in exile in Midyan and that he should not think of assimilating to its ways. This reminder transcended even the importance of giving thanks to Hashem for saving his life.
So too, Rav Zilberstein says, although giving honor to a grandfather and giving pleasure to a father is a very great accomplishment, the need to remember the commitment which brought about the miraculous birth, to learn two halachos daily even after the baby was born, is more important. Therefore, the parents indeed gave the name Yisroel Meir.
One of the things that we can glean from this story is the power of learning two halachos about lashon hara every day. When people would go to Rav Segal, the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, zt”l, zy”a, in need of a yeshua, a salvation, he would often recommend this segulah of learning two halachos about lashon hara every day. There are even calendars one can purchase where there is a system for finishing all of the Chofetz Chaim using this method. Especially in today’s day and age where schmoozing is one of people’s favorites pastimes, and in a culture that prides itself in freedom of speech, where one can legally say whatever one wants, and especially in the area of social media where people are influenced by myriads of individuals who have no scruples about how they speak, where talk shows and secular newspapers have no inhibitions on what they report, it is oh! so important for us to learn the laws of lashon hara.
In the merit of our learning to guard our tongues, may we be zoche to that which the verse proclaims, “Mi ha’ish he’chofetz chaim, oheiv yomim, liros tov? N’tzor l’shonecha mei’ra u’sfasecha midabeir mirmah – Who is the man that desires life, loves days, to see good? Guard your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from speaking deceit.”
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.