It’s hard to believe that the long holiday season is completely behind us. The emotional days of Elul, the frightening and awesome days of Rosh Hashana and Aseres Y’mei Teshuva climaxing with Yom Kippur, the joyous days of Succos, the drama of Hoshana Rabba and Shemini Atzeres, capped by the ecstasy of Simchas Torah. Now, a new reality will set in. It is time to get back into a routine and put our best foot forward for the New Year. It’s time to succeed!
Because success in life is something we all want to achieve, we must learn what the secret to success is. What is the special ingredient needed in order to succeed in life? The answer? Change! That is the one thing that a person needs in order to reach his potential. A person has to keep on changing, bettering himself, throughout his life. Only then, will he be successful, fulfilled.
Now that we know the formula for success is change, we only have to follow it. But change is one of the hardest things to do. We are all creatures of habit. We do not like change. We’re often satisfied with the status quo. Routine is safe, stable. Change is dangerous. But change is what we must do. As we say in the Zichronos on Rosh Hashana, “Maasei adom u’fikudoso,” Hashem judges a person by his actions and by his station in life. For instance, a person can be a Gaon Olam. He can know all of Shas with Rashi, Tosfos, and Poskim by heart. But that person has a photographic memory. What did he really accomplish? He didn’t work at all. Now, there’s another person who worked and studied in order to be able to read K’sav Rashi inside. He will get much more schar-reward, because it is not only what you do but where you started from. If you started at the top and didn’t go any further, you might look impressive, but you did not change. The one who started at the bottom and climbed only one rung, he succeeded. He changed.
The Gemara in Bava Basra tells of an Amora who woke up from a trance in which he saw a vision of Olam Haba. “Olom hafuch ra’isa – I saw an upside-down world,” he said. The Elyonim (those above) were at the bottom and the Tachtonim (those below) were on the top. People who we really thought were Elyonim, people who impressed us, will be on the bottom because they didn’t shteig, they didn’t change. The more we change our nature, the more we succeed.
How can we make ourselves change? What instrument will give us the power to climb to the top? The Hebrew word for change is shinu’i, spelled shin, nun, and yud. What will give us the power for shinu’i? Learning Torah, or mishna Torah. “Mishna” comes from the same shoresh, the same root, as shinu’i.
The Gemara in Kiddushin explains the word v’shinantom in Krias Shema (which also shares this same shoresh). The Mishna Berurah tells us that although Shema can be said in any language, there are some words that do not translate into another language. L’totofos is one of them. V’shinontom is another. The Gemara explains v’shinontom from the word shen, a tooth. “Y’hei divrei Torah chidudim b’ficha she’im tishalcha davar, al t’gamgem v’tomer lo – The words of the Torah should be sharp in your mouths so that if someone asks you a question, you will be able to answer without hesitation.
But now, we can discern another explanation of v’shinontom because we know it comes from the word shinu’i. You should change your children with lessons of the Torah. You have to give them the ability to reach their pinnacle. (Similarly, the word shen, tooth, is also from the root of shinu’i. What is the purpose of a tooth? To change food into a digestible substance our bodies can handle. The word yoshon, which is also from the same shoresh, is used to describe something that is getting older. For when something ages, it is changing.)
Finally, the word for year, shana, also comes from the root of change. The passing of time cannot occur without change. That is why Hashem is “L’maaleh min haz’man – Above the concept of time,” because Hashem does not change.
As we get older it gets harder still to change. One special tool to aid in a campaign of change is limud haTorah. However, even limud haTorah is not a certain method for change. The reason for this is because sometimes we do not analyze our own faults. We are very quick to criticize others, but we do not recognize those flaws in ourselves. We’ve built a protective wall around ourselves to protect our precious egos. In order to get through that wall, we need an even stronger dosage of limud haTorah. Something that will shake us up. Something that will not only teach us Torah, but will teach us how to live Torah. And that is tochocha, mussar (the study of Torah ethics, values, and character introspection). The proper study of mussar will awaken within us the recognition of our faults and will give us the push we need to change them. As the posuk in Mishlei tells us, “Grab hold of mussar; don’t let go. Cling to mussar because it is the key to your life.”
Nevuzaradan killed 94,000 Jews at one time. He saw the blood of Zecharya, the Novi, bubbling in the place where he had been murdered. Nevuzaradan decided to avenge the Novi’s death. He gathered the Kohanim and murdered them, but still the blood boiled. He then gathered innocent children and killed them. But the blood still boiled. He then called out to Hashem, “I killed all of the good ones. Do I have to kill all of them?” Then the blood stopped boiling. Just then, a flash hit Nevuzaradan. If so many deaths were needed to atone for the murder of a single man, what is my punishment going to be? And, in that instant, Nevuzaradan became a ger tzedek, a righteous convert.
Once, when I was when I was a small boy, and I was davening like a small boy does, my uncle came over to me. He told me, “Forget the fact for a moment that you are speaking to the Ribbono Shel Olam when you daven. Don’t you want to pride yourself on the fact that everything you do, you do well?” That comment changed my perspective of davening.
In Yiddishkeit, this concept of change is what we call human strength. When we say a person is strong, we do not mean he has large muscles or that he can bench-press 300 pounds. The Mishna teaches us a very basic principle. Anything in life that is important is attainable to everyone. Ashirus, wealth, therefore, does not mean having a million dollars. Not everyone can attain that. Chachma, wisdom, is not scoring 200 on an IQ test. And gevura is not lifting 200-pound weights. Ashirus is being happy with what you have. Chachma is learning from everyone. And gevura, ko’ach, is conquering your passions. So, one who has the ability to suppress the flaws in his teva, his own particular nature, to change, is one who is invested with koach. That is why the root of the word tochacha is koach. The power of rebuke, gives us the power to change.
The Mishna in Pirkei Avos tells us “K’nei l’cha chaveir – Acquire for yourself a friend.” Look for a person who has your best interests at heart, someone, like your father or mother, who are only concerned for you when they give you advice. They do not have any selfish motives. This friend should be wise enough to point out your flaws. This person will give you the ability to change, to succeed. The numerical value of koach is 28 which is the same gematria as the word y’did, friend. This shows us that a true friend can invest in you the strength you require to succeed.
The Baalei Mussar tell us that one of the best ways to drive home a message is to keep repeating it, to keep on learning about it. Thus, we regularly find the expressions, “M’ragla b’fumei – This was habitually in his mouth,” or, “Hu haya omeir – He would constantly say it,” in our great written works. By repeating and learning mamarei Chazal, sayings of our Masters, they will become a part of us. Once they are a part of us, we will start acting upon them. We will change ourselves.
We should realize that we cannot change completely overnight. If we try too much at once, we will not be able to do it. Hashem just wants to see a turn, a slight change. If we show that we want to change, if we change a little, then Hashem will help us change a lot. Habah l’taheir m’saiyin oso – If a person tries to purify himself, Hashem will help him!” In that way, we can achieve a lot in a little time.
The posuk tells us not to hurt a ger, a convert, and not to cause him any aggravation. The Chasam Sofer questions this. Why would anyone want to hurt a ger? The Chasam Sofer answers that a person might think that although the ger is now a Yid, he still has too much goy in him. But, the Chasam Sofer tells us that a person has the ability to change himself completely in a short amount of time. And, just as quickly as a person can rise, so can he fall. Hashem took Bnei Yisrael out of Mitzrayim and led them in a roundabout way. He did not take them by way of Plishtim for fear they would engage in war and would want to return to Mitzrayim. Reb Leb Chasman, in Ohr Yoel, asks, “After all they went through in Mitzrayim, all the suffering, the hard labor, the murders, why would they want to return there?” Reb Leb answers that this demonstrates how fast a person can fall. But just the same, a person can rise just as quickly.
Now we know that the key to success is change. By changing, by bettering ourselves, we will reach our highest goals. And we also know what gives us the ability to change. Limud haTorah. Studying Torah, learning Torah, taking the learning to heart. If we use the Derech haTorah, the Way of the Torah, to change ourselves then we will succeed in life and succeed in our changing for the better.
May it be the will of Hashem that we make change one of the chief pursuits and focuses of our life. In that merit may Hashem bless with long life good health and everything wonderful!
