This idea should speak to those of us who would like to build a Jewish home, or even to those of us who have already begun the process. There is something called spiritual DNA. The more mitzvos you do, the more you become a good and holy human being. Mitzvos don’t just earn you points up in Heaven to be collected at a later date. Mitzvos actually change who you are. The person you are before an act of chesed is not the person you will be after the act. You are, rather, a more kindly person than before – “Man is changed by his deeds.” By logical extension, if you are a different person now, then your children will be different people too – “The child is an extension of the parents.” Parents dream of raising loving, caring children. But it is more in their control than they realize. Just as a child will resemble the parents physically – as he has inherited their physical DNA – a child’s temperament will also resemble the parents’ – as a result of spiritual DNA.
Thus we find in this parsha an undercurrent of one of the most fundamental tenets of the Jewish worldview. In this world we find ourselves in a constant battle. There are times we want to follow Hashem’s commandments; we want to be kind and giving. Then there are days when we feel like being self-serving and indulgent. How is it possible that we so often feel such contradictory feelings? Are we all schizophrenics? No. However, we are made up of two parts: the material body and the holy soul. Each one has a certain amount of strength and each struggles for supremacy. Sometimes the body gains domination and sometimes it’s the soul that wins out. That’s the way it is. But the goal is to keep flexing those spiritual muscles. Every time we do something good we get a little stronger and holier. And every time we transgress Hashem’s command it’s our body that gains a little more strength.
Avraham knew this. He understood that what he wanted to find for his son was someone who had flexed her soul’s muscles so often that she was a chesed heavyweight. Avraham wanted somebody with DNA encoded to be compassionate and giving. Only such a person would have the genetic capacity to be the mother of the Jewish People.
Let’s learn from Avraham’s example. We must understand the power and impact of our actions. We can make ourselves into G-dly people. We can make ourselves into kinder and more compassionate individuals, and by extension we can affect our children as well. Through our deeds we can actually create generations of righteous men and women. May Hashem bless us with the strength to grow and make ourselves and all those around us into the greatest people we can possibly be.