“… and Moshe did not know that the skin of his face had become radiant when he had spoken to Hashem.” (Shemos 34:29)
The Medrash Rabbah comments that sometimes a customer picks up something whose value is unknown. But when the merchant is paid, the object’s true value is revealed. Similarly, the value of the Torah can only be understood with the disclosure of Moshe’s reward. That’s why it says that Moshe did not know that his face shone.
The Yismach Yisrael notes that when Moshe Rabbeinu descended from Har Sinai with the Torah his face radiated a great spiritual light. However, Moshe himself didn’t know that his face shone. Why?
Dovid HaMelech writes (Tehillim 119:66), “Teach me good reasoning and knowledge, for I believe in Your mitzvos.”
R’ Shraga Feivel of Gritza explains that initially Dovid HaMelech fulfilled all the mitzvos with simple faith because he knew that was the will of Hashem. It was only later that Dovid HaMelech attained a deeper understanding and merited to achieve the wisdom and intelligence to discern the specifics of the mitzvos. The reason he was able to accomplish this is because he was willing to make that original complete investment in the fulfillment of the mitzvos based solely on faith.
Mitzvos are fundamentally to be done with emunah peshuta – simple faith. By doing so, even if one lacks a deeper insight into the mitzvos, he will ultimately be blessed to be able to more profoundly understand them.
The Yismach Yisrael defines emunah peshuta as acknowledging that Hashem is beyond our grasp and we are limited in our ability to understand and comprehend His infinite wisdom, as it says (Yeshayah 55:8), “For My thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not My ways…”
When a person fulfills a mitzvah based on his own understanding, it does not encompass the true greatness and majesty of the mitzvah. Similarly, when one learns Torah, the more he plumbs its depths, the more he sees the extent of its expanse. Whatever he has learned so far is a good beginning, but there is immeasurably more to learn.
With this we can understand why Moshe Rabbeinu was not aware that his face was shining. When he was up in heaven the light there was so intense and bright that the light radiating from his face paled in comparison.
When the Jewish people saw how Moshe Rabbeinu’s face shone they began to realize the immense value and reward of Torah.
Rav Dessler states, in the Michtav M’Eliyahu, that pure emunah is an extraordinary characteristic. It says of Avraham Avinu, the iconic “believer” in Hashem (Bereishis 15:6), “And he trusted in Hashem, and He accounted it to him as righteousness.” Avraham’s emunah was on such a high level that even Hashem took note of it and identified it as “righteousness.” Where does that leave the rest of us mortal people in our generation? Rav Dessler concludes that there are, in fact, many levels of emunah, and Avraham Avinu was certainly on the highest level. Nevertheless, every individual can strengthen his personal emunah on his level.
A government official in Eretz Yisrael who had abandoned Yiddishkeit in his younger years, went to swim in the ocean. The waves got the best of him, and he began to sink. As he realized that he was in danger of drowning, he began to shout for help. A person on shore who saw someone in the water, with his arms flailing, jumped in and swam towards him. As he approached, he heard the drowning man calling out: “I will not do teshuva! I will not do teshuva!”
The good Samaritan found this extremely strange, but he swam out to save the drowning man. The humanitarian successfully carried him to the shore and put him down on the sand. After the person expelled all the water he had swallowed, and regained his breath, the good Samaritan asked curiously: “What were you yelling out there?”
The man was confused but felt he owed the person who saved his life an answer, and he told his savior the following:
“When I was young, I grew up in a very religious home; my parents were Slonimer Chassidim. However, I was influenced by the changing times, and I cast off the yoke of mitzvos. I decided to go to Israel to live on a kibbutz.
“Before I left, my father – who saw in which direction I was heading – told me: Yossel, you’re going to Eretz Yisrael, and we will be separated. It is possible that this will be the last time we will see each other. Please, I beg you, come with me to the Rebbe of Slonim to get his bracha.
“As you can see, I no longer believed in Hashem nor His servant, Moshe. But a father is a father, and as I felt that this could be his last will and testament, I went with him as he requested. Although I was completely disenfranchised, I wore a kippah out of respect for the Rebbe.
“When I entered the Rebbe’s study, he told me: You are now going far away, but your roots are here. The end will be that you will not die without teshuva.
“When I left the Rebbe’s study, I removed my kippah, and we never met again – not I and my father, not I and the Rebbe, and not I and the kippah.
Now, when I was on the brink of death, I shouted that I would not repent, I would not do teshuva, because the Rebbe had said I would not die without doing teshuva. Indeed, I did not want to die, so I had no intention of doing teshuva. And, you see I was right, because you saved me from death.”
R’ Yaakov Galinsky said: This is a Jew. If you believe in the words of the Rebbe and what he told you, where are you, and where is he? And if you don’t believe in the words of the Rebbe, why are you concerned about what he told you?
Bnei Yisrael always remain ma’aminim – believers in Hashem, and with that belief is the promise that we will always return to our roots.
