“Yosef could not restrain himself in the presence of all who stood before him …” (Bereishis 45:1)
Yosef withstood the scorn of his brothers as he was growing up. He successfully defied the challenges of Potifar’s wife. He also had the courage and stamina to withstand his twelve years of imprisonment.
Yet here the Torah says that Yosef could not restrain himself because he did not want that his brothers should be embarrassed in front of the Mitzriim. Yosef was willing to endanger his life in order not to cause his brothers any pain.
In expounding on this pasuk, the Bnei Yissaschar gives us a glimpse into the greatness of Yosef and how he remained so steadfast. He cites the Ohr HaChaim who asks why, for all those twenty-two years, Yosef did not try to communicate with his father, Yaakov, to let him know that he was alive. Even after he was already a ruler, and yet another two years after his brothers first came down to Mitzrayim, Yosef still did not divulge his identity. The Ohr HaChaim tells us that Yosef was afraid that the brothers had put him into cherem (excommunicated him). However, after engaging them in conversation he understood that he had not been repudiated. It was then that Yosef wanted immediately to reveal himself to his brothers, and he ordered everyone else to leave.
Why did Yosef HaTzaddik think that he had been excommunicated? It was actually his brothers – who had abandoned him in the pit with snakes and scorpions, and then sold him to the Yishmaelim – who should be in cherem. He, after all, was the victim. The medrash tells us that when his brothers were about to sell him, Yosef fell at the feet of each of his brothers to beg for mercy, but they ignored his cries. What made him think that he was the one in cherem?
There are times when a person may feel he has been wronged by another, and he himself is in fact 100% in the right. However, that was not Yosef’s perspective in life. Even when he believed he was right, he considered the possibility that perhaps he had done something wrong that warranted his excommunication.
We find similarly that when Korach falsely accused Moshe Rabbeinu (Bamidbar 16:3), “Why do you exalt yourself over the congregation of Hashem?” Moshe took a moment to analyze whether there was any possibility that Korach was correct in his assertion, even though there was no question that Korach was in the wrong.
This was the greatness of Yosef – his ability to be humble and forgiving. The Talmud (Avodah Zarah 20b) states that humility leads to fear of sin, i.e. fear of Heaven. Our sages comment that this results in the atonement of one’s sins.
The great tzaddik Rav Shlomo of Zhvil told his gabbai, Rav Eliyahu Roth, about a Yid who lived in their city of Zhvil who had three daughters of marriageable age, and had absolutely no money to pay for their weddings. He set out to raise the necessary monies, traveling from city to city for weeks on end.
When this Yid returned to Zhvil it was erev Shabbos, and there was no food in the house for Shabbos. He thought to himself: Our sages teach (Bei’ah 16a) that a person’s livelihood is determined between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur except for the Shabbos and Yom Tov expenditures and the expenses for the Torah learning of his children. If a person reduces the amount he spends for these purposes, his income is reduced; if he increases his expenditures for these purposes his income will be increased. With this precept in mind, then, thought the man, he could use the monies he had collected for his daughters to pay for his Shabbos needs, and he would not suffer a loss.
Heartened by this promise and fortified with complete emunah and bitachon (trust in Hashem), the man used some of the money to buy food and delicacies in honor of the Shabbos. Then, extending this concept – that if one increases his expenditures for Shabbos his income will increase – he calculated that he should also invite poor and needy guests to his Shabbos table. Indeed, he conducted himself in this manner for many Shabbosos, and the destitute people of Zhvil became regular guests at his generous Shabbos meals.
Even after all the monies the man had collected were depleted, he noted that he miraculously always had ample funds to keep inviting the poor and needy individuals to his Shabbos table. Rav Shlomo concluded that the man’s daughters had married very well, and he truly saw the fulfillment of our sages that if one increases his expenditures for the Shabbos his income will increase.
After Rav Shlomo was niftar, the gabbai was invited to reminisce about the Rebbe and to repeat some of his divrei Torah. The gabbai complied, and among the details he recounted was this account. As he was speaking, Rav Shlomo’s son and successor rose from his seat and announced: This man was none other than the Rebbe himself. My father was such a humble individual that he was reluctant to reveal his identity. He was focused on teaching the people of Zhvil to have bitachon and emunah in the words of our sages, and he therefore merely spoke of a Yid who lived in Zhvil. His son concluded, “I remember every detail of this story and how my father gave away all the money knowing that he could not keep it for himself when there were others who didn’t have what they needed.”
