In the 6th perek of Pirkei Avos, we are taught that there are 48 acquisitions that one needs to practice to truly acquire the Torah. The Tiferes Yisrael adds another angle: one who wears the crown of Torah must practice these 48 traits. The 37th acquisition is, “Nosei b’ol im chaveiro,” to have a heightened sense of empathy for your fellow Jew. Rav Irving Bunim, zt”l, zy”a, in his sparkling commentary on Pirkei Avos, points out that nosei b’ol, ‘bearing the yoke’ is a very graphic metaphor, for when an ox shares a yoke with its fellow, it feels every bump and jolt that its companion experiences. So too, the Torah personality is expected to feel the hour-to-hour vicissitudes of our persecuted brethren in Eretz Yisrael.
Just this week when the sirens went off, two million people in Tel Aviv, many in panic, had to rush to bomb shelters. The empathetic person mentally visualizes babies rudely shaken out of sleep, and pregnant women, people with walkers, those under the influence of sleeping pills and painkillers being prodded in a sleep induced fog, having to navigate narrow steps to descend to makeshift shelters. The nosei b’ol thinks about the wife of a soldier or his mother waiting in fear for the next text message to hear that they are still alive.
This trait of empathy has always been the hallmark of great Jews. The holy Bobover Rebbe, Rav Shlomo Halberstam, zt”l, zy”a, when he was on the boat escaping from the Nazis, yemach shemam v’zichram, was caught in a storm. Everyone aboard became savagely ill from nausea. The chassidim somehow managed to procure a coveted kosher sucking candy for the Rebbe which would greatly help to relieve his nausea. To their surprise, the Rebbe absolutely refused to take it. He proclaimed that, ‘While there are still Jews suffering in Europe, I won’t put a tzikeral in my mouth.’
After the great fire in Brisk of 1895, Rav Chaim Brisker, zt”l, zy”a, refused to sleep in a bed and instead slept on the floor while there were still people who were homeless in the city of Brisk. Rav Elchonon Wasserman, zt”l, zy”a, Hashem yinkom domo, when there was no food in his yeshiva of Baranovich, refused to eat any food at home.
They once asked the saintly mashgiach, Rav Yeruchum Levovitz, zt”l, zy”a, how many times a person turns from side to side during the night. He thought that it was a nonsensical question. But then they told him that a person with a broken shoulder or a wounded hand or foot cannot turn to the other side! When hearing this, he was shaken. ‘If so, I haven’t felt properly the plight of such an injured person.’ This is the depth of nosei b’ol im chaveiro.
In Tehillim, Dovid HaMelech testifies, “Imo anochi b’tzarah,” that Hashem is with a person in his distress. This was the vision that Hashem showed Moshe Rabbeinu at the burning bush; that he was suffering together with Klal Yisrael. Since this is the way of Hashem, when we suffer together with our brothers and sisters, we are fulfilling the lofty mitzvah of v’halachta b’drachov, walking in the ways of Hashem. The Pele Yo’etz and the Ksav v’Kabbalah add that feeling the pain of others is a true fulfillment of v’ahavta l’rei’acha k’mocha, loving your friend like yourself.
On the other hand, if we just go about our lives like normal, the Gemara calls us a sinner. For we are taught in Berachos [12b], “Kol she’efshar lo l’vakeish rachamim al chaveiro v’lo bikeish nikra chotei – Whoever has the wherewithal to pray for mercy for his fellow and does not do so is considered a sinner.” (Those that started the cycle of amud yomi will learn this page this week!)
We are taught that Moshe Rabbeinu was chosen for greatness because he left his cushy environment in the palace of Paroh, “V’ayar b’sivlosam,” to see the suffering of his brethren at the hand of the taskmasters of Egypt. Rashi elaborates, “Nosien einav v’libo lihiyos meitzar aleihem – He fixed his eyes and his heart to be distressed about their plight.” From Rashi, it seems to be important to actually visualize what is going on. And therefore, although one should certainly not become a news junkie, seeing an occasional visual of hundreds of missiles in the air or frightening terrorist attacks can help to make a person more sensitive to the plight of one’s brothers and sisters.
In a similar vein, my Rebbe, Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, zy”a, writes in his Igros Moshe, [Yoreh Dei’ah, 1:223] that visiting the sick over the telephone is insufficient, for one reason, because you don’t get a true picture of the suffering of the choleh.
The Chazon Ish, zt”l, zy”a, in the Koveitz Igros Chazon Ish [1:123], gives the following strategies for how one can increase one’s empathy for others. He says we should extend ourselves to help the people (such as sending money to United Hatzalah, Zaka, organizations that provide supplies such as certified ceramic bulletproof vests) and to pray fervently even before you really feel the need. These outward attempts will affect one’s inward feelings and convert one into a true nosei b’ol im chaveiro.
In the merit of our care and concern for all of Klal Yisrael, may Hashem bring a speedy victory, a recovery of the hostages, healing to the wounded, and the coming of Mashiach speedily in our days.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.
