As Yaakov flees Eisav, he arrives near his uncle Laban’s home. There he sees his cousin Rachel. The Torah tells us, “And Yaakov kissed Rachel and cried” (Genesis 29:11). Why the tears?
To be sure, Yaakov was lonely. Running from Eisav he was forced to leave home. It is therefore conceivable that his tears were tears of joy that he had once again connected with family. Sensing that he would gain comfort and solace in Rachel, he cries. Tears of happiness stream down his face.
Rashi, quoting the Midrash, sees it differently. According to this reading, Yaakov’s tears were ones of sadness for his prophetic abilities made him realize he would not be buried with his beloved Rachel.
Rachel was buried in Bethlehem. According to the Midrash, she was buried there so that when the Jews would pass by after the destruction of the Temple they could pray at Rachel’s grave. There, Rachel would intervene on behalf of her people. It seems then that Yaakov’s tears may be echoes of the tears to be shed by Am Yisrael when they would be exiled. Similar tears are shed today, as Jews are being denied the right to pray at Rachel’s grave.
Another thought comes to mind. It is possible that Yaakov’s love for Rachel was already so deep that he became anxious. Sometimes one’s love for another is so profound that fear builds up that the love will eventually be lost. Built into love is the reality that every relationship must terminate, for death comes to all of us. The greater the love, the greater the pain when it terminates. Hence Jacob cries. His love for Rachel is so great that he is overcome for he knows it will end and the pain was unbearable.
Here may lie a reason why we break the glass under the chuppah. We do so of course to remember the destroyed Temple, but also to remind bride and groom that nothing lasts forever. In the end, even the greatest of marriages are fragile and will end.
Strange as it may seem, death has echoes in the wedding ceremony. In fact, juxtaposed to the talmudic discussion of the seven blessings recited beneath the chuppah are the blessings recited at a burial (Ketuvot 8a, 8b). Additionally, following a marriage there is a week of seven nights of family and communal gathering, called sheva berachot. Following death there is also a week of communal and family gathering, called shiva. The relationship is not bizarre. Both these times are ones of reflection and transition. They teach us that nothing continues forever. At the moments of greatest joy and deepest sorrow we are taught the lesson that we must live every moment of our lives in love, as life is fleeting and, like a dream, flies away.
And so this may be why Jacob cries. He is aware of the reality that we must use our time on earth to hold on tight and to truly treasure those whom we love.