One of the most important concepts the Jewish people has brought to the world, and one that has elevated and civilized humanity, is “V’ahavta l’reyacha kamocha – And you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Vayikra 19:18).
A noble goal, yes, but how realistic is it?
And yet, one cannot help but wonder how different the world would be if everyone truly loved others as he loved himself.
We would live in a world with no crime or gossip. People would be more charitable and considerate. Happiness, goodness and gratitude would reign! People would feel more connected to each other — and loved.
The reason this is a difficult goal is because most of us don’t understand what it means to love others.
Reb David of Levlov once told his disciples that he had learned the extent one must love others by overhearing a conversation of simple peasants.
One of them suddenly asked his friend: “Do you love me?” “I love you very much,” replied the friend. “Do you know what I need?” asked the friend. “How can I know what you need?” asked the other. “Then your love is not really that of a true friend, for if you really loved me, you would surely know all of my needs and troubles.”
It’s an interesting idea, that love is illustrated by understanding another’s needs. I have heard many times from Rabbi Noah Orlowek that the definition of love is what is important to you is important to me.
As a husband and father, I often contemplate the needs of my wife and children. As a community rabbi, there are many times I look around the shul during davening, and pray for the needs of individuals in the room. Yet, I often wonder, do I really know what each person needs? I know what some people tell me they need, but all too often we think we need something, and the Almighty has a different idea.
An insight into how to love others comes from a story that happened to me more than twenty years ago. Before I got married, I asked all of my rabbeim for advice on how to have a great marriage. One of those conversations left an indelible impression on me.
The rav said to me: “Yitz, I want you to know you are a selfish animal. You will always be a selfish animal. It’s not your fault; it’s the way G-d created you. All you can do is to begin to include your wife in your definition of self. Then include your children, then your community, and eventually the entire Jewish people. By expanding your definition of self to include others, you won’t be swimming upstream when it comes time to take care of others’ needs. Really, you will be taking care of your own needs, which is natural for all of us.”
Another aspect of learning to increase our love of others is by utilizing the definition of love as articulated by my rebbe, Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt”l. “Love,” he said, “is when one identifies and appreciates the virtues in another.” The more we focus on what is special about a person, the more we love him or her.
One time I was at a conference with other rabbis. We were divided into groups of five. Two people in every group knew each other well; two people knew each other superficially for a while; then there was one person in the group whom we had all just met. Our assignment was to play the Love Game.
The object of the game was for each of us to identify a virtue in each person in the group, and then share it with everyone. Then we were asked, “Were you able to identify a virtue in everyone in the group?” The answer was a resounding “Yes!”
The point of the exercise was to illustrate that in the same way that you can identify virtues in someone you have known for years, you can also identify virtues in someone you just met.
Imagine a world in which each time a person interacted with another, he or she would identify something special in that person. Picture a world in which people would recognize another person’s needs and treat him or her in the way he or she wanted to be treated. That would be a world truly filled with happier, kinder people and much goodness.
When the Torah says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” it is not a suggestion. It is a mitzvah, an obligation. In the same way a loving father does not command his son to do something beyond his reach, the Almighty does not command us to do the impossible.
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Twenty-one years ago Rabbi Wyne was the second Orthodox rabbi in Las Vegas, and, in conjunction with others, has been instrumental in the creation of the Yeshiva Day School of Las Vegas, the Community Kollel and other Jewish communal projects. Today there are more than twenty-five full-time rabbis serving the Jewish community of Las Vegas.
The Young Israel Aish of Las Vegas is a uniquely friendly and welcoming shul. Its classes, services and programs engage an eclectic and multi-generational community. YI Aish is a proud branch synagogue of the National Council of Young Israel and the Orthodox Union. In order to accommodate the needs of a growing community, YI Aish recently welcomed an assistant rabbi, Rabbi Avi Anderson, ordained at Yeshiva University.
Young Israel is within walking distance of numerous upscale condominiums and apartments. Just blocks from its synagogue are affordable homes that front lakes, golf courses, the desert foothills, and several miles of peaceful, shaded walking trails. In addition, the Las Vegas Jewish community boasts four established day schools, three mikvahs, an eruv, nine kosher restaurants, and kosher shopping in several major supermarkets.
YI Aish invites readers to visit for a Shabbat (there is a La Quinta Suites hotel located next door to the shul), and enjoy its Youth Programs, meet its families, and become a part of its vibrant community. The Young Israel Aish community views itself as a true spiritual oasis in the desert.
You may contact the shul by calling 702-360-8909 or by visiting www.yiaishlv.com.
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State Capital: Carson City
State Nickname: The Silver State
State Motto: All for our country
State Flower: Sagebrush
State Bird: Mountain Bluebird
First Shul: Temple Emanu-El, Reno, Nevada, founded in 1922