While trying to improve, we also have to prioritize the changes we want to implement. All too often we take flashy things upon ourselves rather than doing essential things. To prevent this requires asking ourselves tough and challenging questions. The Mishnah Berurah (156L S.T. # 3) posits the following insight: A person is supposed to wear dignified, but not ostentatious clothing. In today’s society a person is more apt to justify the purchase of expensive clothing as a necessity. The Mishnah Berurah suggests the following self-test to help a person clarify whether such clothing is truly essential. He should ask himself: If a poor person asked me for money to buy this clothing, claiming it was essential for him, would I give him the money or tell the poor person that such clothing is non-essential? If he would say it is not essential for the poor man, he should not buy it for himself.
When considering the ways in which we want to improve, we should ask ourselves whether we are choosing the most critical and essential areas to improve in or the more flashy and feel-good areas. Perhaps we can imagine how we might advise a friend, as we tend to be more objective when it comes to other people.
Another critical ingredient for successful repentance is resilience. We need to have the endurance Napoleon demanded from his troops. There will be setbacks. We must learn how to bounce back from them and never give up. But perhaps the most important ingredient is to have great dreams. While we can only take measured steps, we must have a guiding vision of the ideal person we would like to become.
The Chofetz Chaim told a group of yeshiva students that Napoleon said that any solider who does not aspire to be a general some day will not even be a good regular soldier. Likewise, any yeshiva student who does not aspire and dream of becoming one of the gedolei hador will not reach his potential as a yeshiva student. To accomplish meaningful deeds one must aspire to great things.