We read the seventh and final haftarah of the shiva d’nechemta this Shabbos, the seven readings of consolation Chazal established to be read for seven weeks following Tisha B’Av.
The reading this week is from Yeshaya and one of the repeated themes is of the Final Redemption, of Hashem returning to Klal Yisrael in an open relationship and Yerushalayim being rebuilt. There is constant reference made to the metaphor of a bride and groom rejoicing together. The words chosson, kallah, baal, besulah – all words describing a bride, groom, husband, and wife – come up often throughout the haftarah. The link between Jerusalem being rebuilt and a Jewish wedding is referred to here as well as in many other places in Tanach.
We go to a wedding and hear familiar tunes being sung by the bochurim at the chosson’s tisch:
“Od Yishama b’arei Yehuda…”
“Yasis alayich Elokayich k’misos choson al kallah…”
We get ourselves into the mood and we start singing and dancing with the crowd.
Do we grasp what we are saying? Do we understand that we are actually davening at those moments?
Yes, I do mean davening.
Think about the words “Od yishama b’arei Yehuda u’v’chutzos Yerushalayim, kol sasson v’kol simcha kol choson v’kol kallah – Soon may it be heard in the cities of Yehudah and the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride” (Yirmiyah 33:10-11).
That is a tefillah – plain and simple. We are praying that HaKadosh Baruch Hu should send Moshiach, rebuild Yerushalayim, and make the holy city full of joy and happiness. We are asking Him that we once again hear the joyous songs and exultations of a true Jewish wedding in Jerusalem.
You might argue that in truth it is not a prayer; rather, it is a statement, affirmation and declaration of fact that one day we will see the cities and streets of Yerushalayim full of ecstasy.
And looking at the context of the pesukim in Yirmiyah, you wouldn’t necessarily be incorrect. However, when you think about it, what would be the purpose of such a declaration at a wedding if not to inspire us to think about Yerushalayim, yearn for her salvation, and pray that it occur soon and speedily?
Hence, we are praying to the Ribbono Shel Olam for redemption as we sing and dance to Od Yishama.
On to the next song most commonly sung: Yasis alayich.
We take a phrase from Lecha Dodi and sing it passionately: “Yasis alayich Elokayich k’misos choson al kallah – May Your Lord rejoice in you as a groom rejoices in his bride.” But we are not addressing the chosson or kallah. This phrase addresses Yerushalayim and in it we daven that Hashem show His delight toward Yerushalayim when she is rebuilt.
Let’s look now at some of the sheva brachos recited under the chuppah.
The 5th bracha states: “Sos tasis v’sageil ha’akara b’kibutz baneha l’socha b’simcha. Baruch atah Hashem, m’sameach Tzion b’vaneha – May the barren one rejoice and be glad as her children are joyfully gathered to her. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who gladdens Zion with her children.”
Why is this being said at a wedding? What is the connection to a marriage?
There’s more.
In the 7th bracha, the following line appears (obviously based on the pesukim from Yirmiyah quoted above): “M’heira Hashem Elokeinu yishama b’arei Yehudah uv’chutzos Yerushalayim kol sasson v’kol simcha, kol choson v’kol kallah, kol mitzhalos chasanim mei’chupasam u’ne’arim mi’mishtei neginasam – There should be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, voices of joy and gladness, voices of groom and bride, the jubilant voices of those joined in marriage under the bridal canopy, the voices of young people feasting and singing.”
Again, this is either a prayer, or an affirmation which is essentially a prayer.
Why do we pray at a wedding for the days of Moshiach and Yerushalayim?
When we attend a wedding and participate in the mitzvah of being mesamei’ach chosson and kallah, we are actually experiencing a small aspect of the rebuilding of Yerushalayim.
The Gemara in Berachos (6b) tells us that someone who takes part in the wedding feast and gladdens the groom merits (greatness in) the Torah which was given with five “kolos – voices,” and it is as though he built up one of the ruins of Yerushalayim. This is because every Jewish home brings more of the presence of the Shechinah into the world, as Chazal (Sotah 17a) teach that Hashem dwells in the homes of couples who live with shalom bayis. Having more Shechinah in the world contributes to the betterment of Klal Yisrael, whose ultimate goal is to bring the full presence of the Shechinah back into the world.
When we attend a wedding we are contributing to a microcosm of the experience we will enjoy during the days of Moshiach. This is why we daven at the chuppah and during the dancing. Once we are already constructing a small part of the ultimate rebuilding, we pray that the momentum for Yemos HaMoshiach established at this wedding should continue so that we will soon exult at the Ultimate Wedding.
We all love weddings. We love the food, music, dancing, and opportunity to see and shmues with our friends. We also feel happy for the young couple and sense a newness and excitement watching them come together as one for the first time. Often, couples come home from a wedding with a desire to reignite their own marriages.
But everything in Torah has deep and profound rationales and whether we realize it or not, the deepest part of ourselves, our neshamos, loves weddings for very spiritual reasons.
The above are some of the deeper inspirations we can have as we read this week’s haftarah and when we are present at the wonderful weddings in Klal Yisrael.