One of the remarkable characteristics of the relationship between Moshe Rabbenu, his brother Aharon, and their sister Miriam is their striking respect for and cooperation with each other. For decades Aaron served as Moshe’s trusted spokesman when dealing with Pharaoh and with the nascent Jewish nation. Aaron also took on the role of Kohen Gadol, Moshe’s counterpart in the spiritual leadership of the Jewish nation. Miriam helped to save Moshe’s life in his infancy and, decades later, she mirrored his inspirational leadership by leading the women to praise God in the Song of the Sea (Az YaShir).
This notable sibling partnership is in sharp contrast to the rivalries and tensions between siblings of the families of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Ya’acov that marks much of Bereshit.
There is one juncture, however, where their exemplary familial cooperation is seriously imperiled and that is in the episode where Miriam and Aaron complain to each other about Moshe’s apparent separation from his wife (Bemidbar 12:1-13). In their conversation, Aaron and Miriam compare themselves to Moshe and, from the text, it seems that they feel there is little difference between their brother and themselves. God intervenes and reproaches Aaron and Miriam for their severe underestimation of Moshe’s spiritual communion with God.
One thing we may learn from this episode is that in the most effective spiritual partnerships, team members will recognize that all parts of the team are equal in the sense that the greater ‘organism’ cannot function well without one of them. This level of equality, which contributes to individual self worth, is what makes such partnerships work so well together. Yet such a sense of equality can not be allowed to obscure the fact that one or more members of the partnership may play a far more significant role or bring certain talents to the table that are absolutely essential to the success of the effort.
In the episode in our parsha, Aaron and Miriam come to terms with the inherent inequality in their relationship and their dynamic partnership with Moshe is restored. We can learn from their example to set aside the modern myth of complete equality and recognize that, in Jewish law as in ideal spiritual partnerships, there are often players who have unequal status. We are bidden to work together, as the surest route to harmony and maximum self-expression. Yet we must soberly accept that God grants greater gifts (be they wealth, talent, leadership skills, or connections) to some and not others. Recognizing this essential fact, with humility, is an important step in allowing our spiritual teams to reach their fullest potential.
{Adapted by Harry Glazer from Rabbi Francis Nataf’s book Redeeming Relevance In the Book of Exodus: Explorations in Text and Meaning}