Throughout much of history, it was hard for the Jews have to find true friends. Facing a frequently hostile world, when they came across an unusually cooperative gentile, it came as a bit of a surprise. Thus, when the Jews did meet a highly righteous gentile, it was almost a foregone conclusion that he or she would want to convert. But the Bible gives us another type of righteous gentile – one that maintained his distinct non-Jewish identity. Though not usually seen in such a way, Moshe’s father-in-law, Yitro, may well have been the prototype of such a character.
A straightforward reading of the Biblical text would lead us to believe that Yitro never became a Jew. In talking with Moshe, he is always identified as someone apart from the Jewish people. Thus, there is nothing unusual for Moshe to send him away after Yitro brings Moshe his wife and children. So his leaving Moshe was a foregone conclusion and Moshe’s sending him away is simply another way of saying that he escorted his father-in-law in a way becoming his importance. Moreover, when Moshe tries to convince Yitro to stay with the Jews later on in the Torah, he explicitly refuses saying that he wants to go back to his people. (It should be remembered that this is in contrast with Ruth, who in converting, proclaims her new allegiance to the Jewish people.) This simple reading seems to be in line with the great teacher R. Yehoshua, who states in the Mechilta, that not only did Yitro not convert, he actually remained an idol-worshipping priest (at least up until his meeting Moshe in Parashat Yitro).
Yitro seems to be a son-in-law’s dream. But even more impressive than his congenial treatment of Moshe is his willingness to try to help even when he does not have a direct stake in the matter. In this week’s parsha, we see him identifying a problem that everyone else must have not seen or been too intimidated by Moshe’s stature to critique. Sometimes it takes an outsider to point out our problems.
But Yitro’s advice also comes as a challenge. The challenge is whether we are able to listen when advice and even criticism comes from someone who does not share our own commitments. Moshe meets this challenge and teaches us that we need to listen to what others have to say if it is correct.
But that does not translate into listening to all. Just like we have high standards for the Jews to whom we listen, we should also have high standards for gentiles as well. When they show the righteousness and sensitivity of a Yitro, it is time for us to hear their critique as well as their counsel. And an important part of that sensitivity is Yitro’s awareness that any critique must meet our religious norms. This he shows when he tells Moshe that his suggestion is subject to approval by God. Admittedly not a test we can readily administer today, we must always ask ourselves how any piece of advice and its giver would be looked upon by God.
The person who seeks to improve should always be on the lookout for good advice. In such a search, he is wise to put preconceptions aside and realize that wisdom can come from unexpected places.