The prayer of Elokai n’tzor continues, “V’limkal’lai nafshi sidom – May my soul be quiet to those that curse me.” Now, cursing is a rather radical action. The Siddur Meforesh includes that it means, “To those that insult me.” Perhaps we might suggest that the word v’limkal’lai has a shoresh, root of kal, light, and thus it means, “Those who take me lightly and don’t show proper respect.”
The Shlah HaKodesh explains that first we ask Hashem to guard our tongues from speaking bad and now we petition further that even our souls should be silent and not feel the need to respond. As we will say in the next stanza, “V’nafshi k’afor l’kol ti’hiye – And my soul should be like earth to everyone.” As the Reishis Chochma explains, “Just like earth doesn’t experience discomfort when it is trod upon, so we should not even feel any irritation when others ‘step’ upon our dignity and ruffle our feathers.
This is a trait of the righteous of whom it says, “Shomim cherpason v’shoskim – They hear insults and they are quiet.” When the soul is impervious to barbs and insults, one is saved from such heinous crimes as, “Lo sisna es achicha bilvavecha,” “V’lo sitor – Not taking vengeance and bearing grudges,” and the ruinous crime of machlokes, fighting. We beseech Hashem, “Nafshi sidom – Let my soul be quiet.” This is especially beneficial for marriage. We ask Hashem that we should not need to have the last word, a particularly beneficial skill for a wholesome marriage.
We then ask Hashem “V’nafshi k’afor l’kol ti’hiye – My soul should be like earth to everyone.” At first glance this is a peculiar request. We certainly aren’t asking that people should treat us like dirt. Tosefos in Berachos [17] explains it to mean that we should be indestructible like earth, as in the blessing, “V’hayai zaracha k’afor haaretz – May your seed be like the earth of the land.” The Rambam in the Igeres Teiman, and the Mahrshal explains the reference to earth as follows: Just as earth eventually covers those who step upon it when they are in the grave, so we too should overcome those that attack us. Rav Shloma Alkabetz, zt”l, zy”a, explains the metaphor of earth from another angle. He says that just like earth, which although we step upon it still gives us bread, fruits and vegetables, so too we should be giving even to those who irritate us.
Acquiring this middah is a fulfillment of v’halachta bidrachav, walking in Hashem’s ways, as the Novi attests in Nechemiah [9:20], “Ooman’cha lo mana’ta mipihem – And your manna you didn’t withhold from their mouths,” even when they had worshiped the golden calf. This is the trait of the Eishes Chayil, of whom it says, “G’malasu tov v’lo ra, kol yimei chayeha – She responds with good but not with bad all the days of her life.”
We then ask “P’sach libi b’Sorosecha – Open my heart with Your Torah. This order of prayer follows the directive of “Sur mei’ra v’aseh tov – Turn away from evil and do good.” We therefore first ask Hashem that we avoid sinful speech and forbidden thoughts, and then we can turn to requesting that our mouth be filled with the beautiful words of Torah and Its holy thoughts.
The Siddur Meforesh explains the request to ‘open our hearts to Your Torah’ to mean l’havina, to understand the Torah. I also think it means that we should blessed with cheishek haTorah, a desire and zest for Torah, and also with mesikas haTorah, the sweetness of Torah. As it says about the Torah, that it is, “M’sukim mi’dvash vinofes tzufim – It is sweeter than honey and the most delicious honeycombs.”
The request of opening our hearts to Your Torah logically follows the petition to feel humble like earth, for the Gemara in Sotah teaches us that humility is a prerequisite for Torah success. As Reb Yochanan says, Ein haTorah miskaiyemes ela b’mi she’asah atzmo k’mi she’eino – The Torah only succeeds by one who makes himself as if he is not,” (which is another way of saying ‘having humility’). This is one of the reasons why Torah is compared to water since water always flows from high to low.
The Iyun Tefillah brings an interesting idea from Rav Yehudah Tzvi m’Minsk, zt”l, zy”a. First, we ask Hashem to guard our tongues from speaking evil and deceit. However, if G-d forbid we already sinned with our tongue, the Gemara in Arachin [15a] says to atone for transgressions of the mouth, one should learn Torah, and if he is unable to, then he should humble himself. Therefore, we pray that if we didn’t succeed in protecting our tongue, we should humble ourselves like earth, and open our hearts to learn Torah.
The next request is “Uv’mitzvosecha tirdof nafshi – And toward Your mitzvahs, my soul should run.” As the Eitz Yosef explains, the connection to Torah without fulfilling the mitzvahs is worth naught. As the verse proclaims, “Adam l’umal yulad – Man was created to toil,” and the word lamal, spelled lamed–ayim–mem–lamed, is an acronym for lilmod al m’nas laasos, to learn in order to fulfill. We ask for Torah success before the mitzvos, since Torah is most important. As we say, “Talmud Torah k’neged kulom,” and we also say, “Gadol hatalmud she’hatalmud mavi liydei hamaiseh – Great is learning for learning brings to action,” and as it says in Pirkei Avos, “Ein bur y’rei cheit, v’lo ahm haaretz chosid – The boor is bereft of fear of sin, and the ignoramus can’t be pious.”
The request that our souls should run after Your mitzvos is, we ask Hashem that the commandments should not be a burden upon us. Rather, we should do them with love and interest and, consequently, with alacrity.
In the merit of these all-important prayers, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.
