We all know Rosh Hashana is the Day of Judgment, when our fate is written up and our yearly sustenance is decided. Rosh Hashana is also the first day of the Ten Days of Repentance, with one of the main reasons for the mitzvah of shofar being to raise the alarm to galvanize us to repent before it’s too late for the seal on Yom Kippur.
The Chidushei HaRim, zt”l, zy”a, explains that the holiday is called Yom Teru’ah, a Day of the Shofar Blast. This is even though the entire shofar service takes up no more than 45 minutes of the day. Yet, this highlights how important a part of Rosh Hashana is to alarm us to get busy with the work of teshuva, to change and improve. Furthermore, since Rosh Hashana is the first day of the year, we want to get the year off on the right foot with improvement and change.
In our daily prayer, we ask Hashem, “V’hachazireinu b’teshuva sheleima lefonecha – Help us return to You with a perfect teshuva.” What do we mean by a perfect teshuva? Rav Chatzkel Abramsky, zt”l, zy”a, explains that the garden variety of repentance is to regret our sin and to refrain from doing it again. This is indeed a very praiseworthy accomplishment. However, a teshuva sheleima, a perfect repentance is when we accomplish the directive of yaazov rasha darko, let the wicked forsake his ways. This means not just to refrain from the sin but to diagnose the root of why we do the sin and eradicate that as well.
Let me give you an example. A person, to his chagrin, realizes that he doesn’t say Modeh Ani in the morning. Regular teshuva is to regret this and to strengthen himself to be more careful in the future. A perfect teshuva is when he realizes that the reason why he forgets it in the first place is because he’s not thinking enough about Hashem. The state of awareness of shvisi Hashem l’negdi tamid, to have Hashem before me at all times, is not the way he lives. Likewise, v’chol derachecha da’eihu, in all your ways you should acknowledge Him, is not the default position of his mind. Working to change this is a teshuva sheleima.
Here’s another example. A person, after making a cheshbon hanefesh, a personal accounting, realizes that he’s not visiting his parents enough, calling them regularly, or finding enough opportunities to give them nachas. Regular teshuva is to confess and regret this serious omission and commit to do better in the future. A teshuva sheleima is when we correctly diagnose that our dereliction in this important area of life stems from a lack of hakaros hatov, gratitude to our parents for making our existence possible and for all they did for us when we were young.
Yet another example: A person realizes that he’s guilty of trampling on the Tenth Commandment of lo sachmod, not to covet and be jealous of what someone else has. Regular teshuva is to regret such jealous behavior and to commit to try to be better. A teshuva sheleima is to come to the realization of what we say every morning: She’asa li kol tzarki, that Hashem makes for me all that I need. The extras that we see by other people, although they look enticing, could very well be detrimental to our life. For example, if we had a bigger house, perhaps our wives would feel more pressure and become shrewish. If we had a swimming pool, perhaps someone would, G-d forbid, drown. If we had that coveted promotion, perhaps we would have sleepless nights from the stress. Furthermore, maybe the European first-class six-star trip that our neighbor goes on is deducting from his portion of eternity. Surely, this is something that we certainly don’t want to be jealous about.
Let me give you another example. We come to realize that we are saying the first blessing of the Shemoneh Esrei, Magein Avraham, without kavanah, concentration. (About this lack of kavanah, the Shulchan Aruch says that we really should have to say the entire Shemoneh Esrei over again. The Rama, zt”l, zy”a, says however that we don’t repeat it since we probably wouldn’t have proper kavanah even when we say it again.) Regular teshuva is to regret this shameful neglect when we’re standing before Hashem and to commit ourselves to pay more attention. A teshuva sheleima is when we diagnose that this lack of attention stems from the fact that we need to work on da lifnei Mi attah omeid, to realize more acutely before Whom we stand. When we concretize and crystalize in our minds that we are talking to Hashem, it will be much less likely that we will become distracted and start to daydream during our davening.
Still another example of a teshuva sheleima is when a person realizes that they are guilty of talking in shul. Regular teshuva consists of regretting doing the crime about which the Shulchan Orech describes as gadol avon miniso, a sin that’s too great to bear. A teshuva sheleima is when we are brutally honest with ourselves and realize that we are lacking in the belief that our prayers really make a difference in the quality of our life and that we can indeed greatly enhance the quality of our life with concentrated prayer.
This type of spiritual forensic activity can be used for every type of crime that we do teshuva upon. In the merit of our bettering ourselves, may Hashem better our lives, and let me take this opportunity to wish my wonderful readers and your families a New Year of good health, happiness, and everything wonderful.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.
