The Torah says Abraham came to eulogize Sarah and cry for her. Human nature dictates to cry first and then eulogize. Crying is not mourning, rather it is the spontaneous release of tension due to a (usually destructive) surprise. On the other hand, a eulogy is a rational, intellectual performance that requires clarity of mind to evaluate and appraise the loss, and to painfully discover how reality has changed.
Abraham suffered a double loss with the death of Sarah. The first was the loss of his wife and partner, his consistent comrade in arms, with whom he faced life’s challenges. No one understands the bleak loneliness and destructive nostalgia felt by a surviving mate. With the death of Sarah, Abraham felt that his whole world had been dislocated.
The second sense of loss was the uncertainty of the fate of the Covenantal Community. Abraham knew that the covenant was entrusted to both a man and a woman. Now that the mother of the Covenantal Community had died, would Hashem trust him to continue? Perhaps he had sinned and was no longer worthy to be the father of the Covenantal Community?
Upon her death, the first thing Abraham did was to appraise Sarah’s contributions to the growth of the Covenantal Community, and to put in place a plan for how to continue without her. After all, Abraham was not alone in this loss. Rambam writes that they attracted tens of thousands of followers into the covenant. These people also felt the loss of the mother of their community. First Abraham had to orient himself to the loss of Sarah in terms of the community. Only afterwards could he break down and cry over his personal loss.
Abraham realized that with Sarah’s death, the mother of the Covenantal Community, his mission as its father was drawing to a close. He needed to prepare to walk off the historical stage, to yield, so others could pick up the mantle of father and mother of the Covenantal Community.
Abraham survived Sarah by 38 years. Yet the Torah tells us just two stories involving Abraham in his role of father of the Covenantal Community: the purchase of the burial plot for Sarah, and finding a wife for Isaac. Indeed, the latter story is more important in the context of the continuity of the Covenantal Community, which required the strong relationship between Rebecca and Isaac, like that of Abraham and Sarah.
The Torah says that Isaac brought Rebecca into his mother’s tent, and she filled the gap left by the death of the mother of the Covenantal Community. Once again, it would have a father and mother. Abraham now moved off the center stage for the remaining 38 years of his life, after entrusting the destiny of the Covenantal Community to Isaac and Rebecca.
The Torah repeats the word Shana with each component of Sarah’s age of 127 years, culminating with the words Shnei Chayei Sarah. The repetition teaches us that Sarah had the purity and inquisitiveness of a seven-year-old, the beauty and maturity of a 20-year-old and the wisdom of a 100-year-old. There was no contradiction or conflict within Sarah. Sarah did not suffer from a stymied, under developed personality. She was a bold, daring and responsible person who, miraculously, did not allow the maturity of the adult in her to squash her inherent enthusiasm of an innocent child. She grew older and wiser with the passage of time, yet in times of need or crisis the young girl in her came to the fore.
The study of Torah requires skepticism and willingness to be challenged. Rabbi Yochanan rejected Rabbi Elazar Ben Pdas because he always agreed with him and did not challenge him as Resh Lakish, his former study partner, did. On the other hand, prayer requires the Jew to suspend his intellect and pour his heart out to Hashem as a young child to his mother. Abraham and Sarah, the founders of the Covenantal Community, exhibited maturity and child-like behavior when required. The Torah expects a member of the Covenantal Community to fight as a young man for his ideals, like Abraham did when called upon to save his nephew. Abraham was at least 75 years old at that time, yet he acted as a young warrior, without hesitation. When Abraham studied the skies of Mesopotamia in search of Hashem he acted as a wise old man. When he prayed, he did so with the complete love and faith of a young child.