“And I will return in peace to my father’s house, and Hashem will be to me G-d.” – Bereishis 28:21
When Yaakov Avinu was told that his brother Eisav was plotting to kill him, he ran from his father’s home and prepared for an extended stay in exile. Along the way, he davened and asked Hashem for a number of things, including: “I should return to my father’s house in peace.”
Rashi assumes that this can’t be referring to Hashem protecting him from physical harm because Yaakov already asked for that. Rather, says Rashi, it means that, “I should arrive safe from sin,” in other words, that Hashem should protect him from the influences of his future father-in-law, Lavan.
It is clear from this Rashi that Yaakov was afraid of learning the ways of Lavan. This is very difficult to understand. Why would Yaakov have such a fear? Each of the Avos “specialized” in a particular trait. Yaakov was the Ish Tam – honest and straightforward. Integrity was his hallmark and the mainstay of his avodas Hashem. While this was a trait he worked on extensively, it was also something that he was predisposed toward. On some level, it was part of his nature. Of all people, why would he be afraid of learning to cheat?
What makes this question even more difficult to understand is that at this time Yaakov was seventy-seven years old. He had just completed a long period of uninterrupted Torah study. For the previous fourteen years he had been learning in the yeshiva that Shem had established. Surely he wouldn’t be affected by being in the presence of a thief.
The answer to this question can best be understood with a mashol.
Eye in the Sky
A nanosecond is a very small segment of time. One second split into a thousand parts is measured in milliseconds. One millisecond split it into a thousand parts is measured in microseconds. And one microsecond, (a millionth of a second) split it into thousandths is measured in nanoseconds. A nanosecond is a billionth of a second – not a very long splice of time.
You may wonder: What need is there to measure such infinitely small intervals of time? Consider one of the wonders of the modern world, the GPS. The Global Positioning Satellite system operates by measuring a signal that travels from a satellite in the sky to the ground-based monitor. A GPS unit can determine your exact location and then guide you along to your destination by measuring the time it takes for that signal to travel. But the precision is excruciatingly demanding. One nanosecond off, and the GPS will be off by one foot. A mere millionth of a second off, and the readings will be off by a thousand feet, making it almost useless. And if it is miscalibrated by as much as a hundredth of a second off, you might as well toss the thing in the garbage. When you are measuring against objects at a vast distance, precision is vital. Even miniscule errors will show themselves in very real results.
This seems to be an apt mashol to our situation. It is very difficult for us mere mortals to even perceive the greatness and level of perfection the Avos attained. Every action, every nuance, and every thought was weighed and measured with extraordinary precision. The result of living a life with such attention to detail was greatness of unparalleled proportions. And the Avos were very aware of human tendencies.
Yaakov Avinu wasn’t afraid that he would learn to steal because of Lavan; he was afraid that his image of what is considered normal behavior might be affected. He was afraid that by living in the house of a thief, his standard of what is considered acceptable conduct might be affected.
While this wouldn’t directly change his actions, he would now be measuring from a very different standard, and that distinction might show itself many years down the line in an ever so small deviation from honesty. You or I would not even perceive the eventual consequence that might show itself, but to people aspiring to such levels of greatness, even the most minute deviation matters.
While this was true about the Avos, whose every moment of existence was carefully measured, planned, and focused, how much more so in our lives?
The Rambam (Hilchos Dayos, Perek 6) says: “It is the nature of man to be pulled after his friends and acquaintances, and act in the manner of his neighbors.” The reality is that we are shaped by our experiences and the times we live in.
While there are countless applications of this concept in our days, one manifestation that might not be as obvious is the way some women in our community dress. When religious women, who are dedicated to serving Hashem, wear clothing that looks like it has been painted on, one quickly comes to recognize the effect of society upon us. These very same women daven daily, go to shiurim, and are very careful in what comes out of their mouths, yet walk around in a manner unbefitting a daughter of the King.
We live in wondrous times, and we have opportunities that Jews of previous generations couldn’t imagine. However, it has been a very long and bitter exile, and unfortunately we have adopted much from the people among whom we live. When we recognize how much society shapes our understanding of what is normal, we can protect ourselves from the dangers of those changes.
One part of the solution is to study the lives of the Avos. When we see individuals whose every action and thought were focused on perfection, we gain an understanding of what a human is capable of, and we can recalibrate our own understanding of what a mensch is.
To view Rabbi Shafier’s video, click here.