By this point, Yaacov himself has matured from broadly attacking convention or broadly adhering to it. Yaacov has learned to adhere to social convention – even using it to his own advantage when he is being cheated. His newfound honor for implied agreement probably costs him Rachel. Because Lavan did not find the idols with her, she did not have to die under Yaacov’s explicit agreement. But she does anyway, the implied reality is unchanged. Yaacov grows to understand and reinforce social and implied contracts. Despite being willful, he becomes a reinforcer of social stability and social law by punishing those powerful people who thumb their noses at these expectations.
All of this is revealed in his relationship with Esav. By paying tribute to Esav, by referring to himself as a servant, Yaacov is doing more than appeasing his brother; he is giving back the blessing of their father. He is returning the birthright which he took through a violation of convention and through explicit deception. He is not returning the rights to the legacy of Avraham, he is returning the stolen blessing which referred to material wealth and physical might. His gifts and messages acknowledge Esav’s supremacy in both those areas. This might be why Esav cries upon receiving him – he is like a child who has received a long awaited gift.
In sending those sheep to Esav, Yaacov has finished wrestling with his own willful character. He has limited himself. The leg is a sign of will – something which, from birth to death, Yaacov is associated with. It is the leg which is hobbled in his battle with the angel – a battle that occurs when he is ‘left alone’. Yaacov has developed an unbelievable will: the will required to overwhelm his own G-d given character. In this way, he has not only wrestled with men like Lavan, he has wrestled with G-d himself. It is a core value of his. Much later, he curses Shimon and Levi for their ‘wanton will’ and ‘anger.’
Yaacov is named Israel. His life is a lesson to us. The Jewish people are a willful people. We are a stiff-necked people, both in opposition to G-d and in support of Him. We resist the dictates of fate and the world. We resist the powerful through our continued existence.
Yaacov teaches us that it is not our role to destroy and break down and build anew. It is our role to work within and reinforce the stability of society; to appreciate laws and customs and implicit expectations. It is our role to punish those who violate these expectations – and the assistance of G-d is available in that effort. And where there are conflicts in expectations, it our role to reinforce those laws and customs which prevent the powerful from undermining the weak. In its way, Yaacov’s marriage to the homely Leah is a beautiful representation of that being achieved.
Last, but not least, it is our role to constrain ourselves – to battle within so that our wanton will and anger do not undermine everything else. We, the Children of Israel, are here to change the world – to create a world of physical creation and of connection to G-d. Doing so does not demand the burning of social rules. We can look to the histories of revolutions to understand that those which burn do not bring good to their societies.
Instead, predictability, stability and social expectations are contributors to this process – not enemies of it. We must reinforce them in the face of those who would violate them; ours is not a nation of Halacha by accident. We do not burn, we build.