My outreach work through Hineni has taken me to Jewish communities all over the world. Often I’m asked to be scholar in residence over Shabbos. These Shabbos programs are always powerful and inspiring.
On those occasions I usually stay in a hotel and take the service stairway up and down from my room to the lobby. On one such trip, when I made my way down the staircase to get to the shul, I noticed a sign on the wall addressed to the hotel staff. I stopped to read it. And as I absorbed the words I felt sad.
The message on the sign was derived from a teaching of our sages: “Hevei m’kabel kol adam – Greet every person with a pleasant countenance.” It depressed me to think that this wisdom had become the heritage of others while so many Jews have either forgotten it or never knew it existed.
Here’s what that sign said:
“Attention all personnel. Greet every guest with a big bright smile. When speaking to guests, look them straight in the eye and ask if there is anything you can do for them. Should it be that you have a difficult situation at home, don’t bring it to work. Don’t afflict others with your problems.”
I was astounded by the sign’s wisdom and practical advice. My father, HaRav Avraham HaLevi Jungreis, zt”l, and my husband, HaRav Meshulem HaLevi Jungreis, zt”l, punctuated all their communications with this principle.
Time and again people told me, “Your father’s smile is so strengthening, so uplifting.” I asked my father about it and he replied, “Why not? Why shouldn’t we smile and help people? It’s so easy yet so powerful. It takes only a second but the effect is everlasting. It’s within the grasp of every person. The only requirement is a desire to do chesed.”
One of the cornerstones of our Jewish life is chesed, kindness. Chesed can only be taught by example. That was the message of my parents and my husband. They were constantly building bridges of chesed between man and man and between man and his Creator.
As mentioned earlier, doing chesed is within everyone’s reach. No previous training is required. No certification is necessary. Just a little good will. This is a most powerful teaching, particularly right before Rosh Hashanah.
It was with his giving personality and generous spirit that my husband established an Orthodox shul in a community where Orthodoxy had been something alien, even abhorred. His warm, infectious smile converted mistrust into trust, anger into kindness, and resentment into acceptance. He exuded the trait of chesed at all times.
Today, noone has time or patience for smiles or helping hands. Sadly, we Jews are no different. That’s why it was so painful for me when I saw that sign in the hotel. To think it was we, the Jewish people, who were bequeathed this wisdom by our sages – this teaching that could make such a difference in our daily lives – only to have largely forgotten it.
There is another staircase incident I would like to share. Once again a speaking engagement took me to a Shabbaton at a hotel. Readers may recall that a while back I suffered a broken hip and an injured knee. The recuperation process was lengthy and arduous. Just the same, I was determined to take the stairs on Shabbos rather than the elevator (although I’m aware that in my condition at the time I could have done so).
I spoke on Shabbos afternoon after we’d finished a beautiful seudah, and following my address I sat with individuals for several hours responding to questions and giving counseling and advice. I was anxious to lie down even for just a few minutes before the next session. Slowly and laboriously I made my way upstairs.