My wife’s parents are totally secular and it took them some time to accept their daughter’s lifestyle. They looked upon it with curiosity rather than hostility. They’ve tried to be tolerant. When we visit them we have to bring our own plates, cutlery and kosher food, but at least there are no sarcastic or insulting remarks.
But there are some real issues. My mother-in-law is upset that we cannot eat the delicious food she prepares, but she has more or less come to accept it. To be sure, it is difficult for us to explain to our children that the food is not kosher on bubbie’s table but we try to compensate with positive reinforcement. My wife is an angel. She takes it calmly but it can get tense.
Rebbetzin, should we completely sever our relationship to protect our children from both sets of grandparents or should we limit ourselves to phone calls, e-mails and Skype? We don’t know what to do. On the one hand we do not wish to hurt them. They are good, kind, philanthropic people. When it comes to Torah, however, there is an iron curtain my wife and I cannot penetrate.
My wife and I seek your guidance. We know you are familiar with all kinds of family conflicts and have been advising people for generations. Rebbetzin, how do we handle this family situation?
(To be continued)