We are admonished not to kindle a fire in our homes, and our sages explain that the Torah is not merely discussing physical fire but the fire of controversy and acrimony.
Why should we be especially vulnerable to such a fire on Shabbos and Yom Tov? Because, unfortunately, when families come together on Shabbos and Yom Tov, acrimony, jealousy, and arguments are always a threat. And so the Torah admonishes us to be on guard and not allow a fire of controversy to be kindled.
On Shabbos and Yom Tov we must all have one priority: to be builders – builders of our family and our nation. And that can only be done if our homes are places of peace, not battlegrounds; places of love, not animosity; places of unity, not fragmentation.
So to you, dear friend, and all our other readers, I reiterate: When your children (or grandchildren) are causing great stress and you feel you cannot deal with it anymore, take a deep breath and remember that these are our bonim – our builders – and the future of our people is in their hands.