We live in a greed-oriented culture. We believe in money to such an extent that it has become a popular truth that if you have money, you can do no wrong. Even Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof” plaintively sang, “If I were a rich man…” There’s a popular saying that sums it all up: “Money talks.”
With Hashem’s help I have had the merit of making many shidduchim. To my dismay, I have discovered that if a shidduch candidate has money, he or she becomes handsome, beautiful, intelligent, and all the other desirable traits single people are looking for in a marriage partner.
Yes, I know there are many families and singles who search the depths of a person’s soul and heart rather than the depths of his or her pocket. They measure a marriage candidate and his or her family by spiritual assets – kindness, wisdom, love – rather than material assets. But the sad truth is that spiritual assets have less and less value in our money-focused society.
There is a joke I once heard that also requires a disclaimer for it is not indicative of every family but nevertheless it is reflective of our society.
A grandmother passed away. Everyone marveled at the peace and unity that prevailed among the children and grandchildren. And then someone put a pin in the balloon by asking, “Ah, but did she leave behind any money?”
“No” came the answer.
“Thank you very much,” the person who asked the question said cynically. “I rest my case.”
We all recognize the unfortunate validity of that joke precisely because it is not a joke at all. Jokes often reflect truth and this one speaks to our singular obsession with material wealth.
As a perceptive and sensitive young woman, you realize, I’m sure, that there are no quick or easy solutions to your problem. Nevertheless, I will offer some suggestions.
(To be continued)