There is a common trait in our history when leaders are confronted with assuming the obligation and the responsibility of leadership. In most cases they hesitate or outwardly refuse this mantle of duty.
After Moshe our teacher was commanded by Almighty G-d to go to Egypt and challenge Pharaoh and demand that he allow the Jews to leave, he refused to go. The Torah narrates that he argued with G-d insisting that he was not the one to assume this charge. Finally, G-d designated his brother Aaron with this task.
We find this same behavior duplicated when Samuel the prophet anoints Saul as the king of Israel. The prophet tells us that Saul was hiding, as if to say that he was unworthy of being the king. It was only after continuous encouragement and prodding that Saul finally assumed the role as the first king of Israel.
The same is true of King David. Of all his brothers he was the most unlikely to become king. He was small and unnoticed. He was so humble that he felt unworthy of leading the people of Israel.
The great Rabbi Akiva never felt intelligent enough to become a leader of the Jewish community. It was only after the insistence of his wife Rachel that he began the long and arduous pursuit of study, eventually becoming the giant Torah scholar of Jewish history.
What is it about our leaders that they all hesitate to accept leadership roles? Why didn’t they have the self-confidence to welcome their responsibility to our people and assume the mantle of leadership?
I have always felt that one can define and recognize brilliant people by how unassuming and self-effacing they present themselves. Often, the greater the person the greater his/her humility – the more they know their limits and how much they don’t know. People who offer advice readily are frequently the one whose counsel should not be sought after. Each of our great leaders did not feel entitled to any of the gifts that were given to them by G-d.This lack of entitlement and this humility and self effacing character, however, was the most profound quality of their character and personality.
Often we find the opposite approach when we delve into what is happening in many of our day schools. There we often find children who lack proper derech eretz in their daily exchanges with people, as if they feel that they are entitled to act this way and to behave disrespectfully around their teachers or adults. In my many years’ experience as a principal, and in my capacity as an evaluator of schools who boast of their excellence, I am constantly amazed by the brazenness and the arrogance of students who attend day schools and yeshivot, as if there was no directive discouraging such behavior.
The Talmud states that in the time of the Messiah, arrogance and conceit will be rampant. Children will have no respect for their elders and the old and the wise will be looked upon with disdain rather than a source of wisdom and knowledge.
There is no question that what children see on their television screens or on their computers promote this kind of behavior. And there is no question that the home environment often sends this same message to our children: that they are entitled to anything and everything and that the teachers are there to serve them and provide for their every whim.
But the onus also falls on our schools in not taking a stricter policy with regard to respect and menchlichkeit and demanding the proper behavior and deportment from our children. Teachers and principals must have the strength and conviction to take action against inappropriate behavior regardless of how influential a parent is or how much money they give to the school. Ultimately, I believe, parents would be thankful for the honesty and the dedication of a school and teachers who treat their children fairly and impartially and confront a problem head on.
I remember such a case. A student whose father was a major contributor to our school displayed tremendous disrespect numerous times. Eventually, I was forced to call the father and to direct him to take his child home –that his behavior will not be tolerated any more. When the father arrived at my school, he entered my office and thanked me for taking this stand against his child.
He said, “Perhaps now my son will get the message that such behavior is unacceptable.” He did.
The task is formidable. But if we are to be successful in producing respectful human beings, these actions must become a priority.