One of the greatest challenges of educators is how to teach davening to our children? How do we infuse respect and appreciation into the daily prayers? Many of our children are turned off by davening. The material seems repetitive and not relevant to their lives. Children of this age often feel that they have no reason to pray to a G-d that they don’t relate to nor do they care about.
How do we turn this around? How can we develop veneration and a desire for our children to take this valuable tool, and use it to enhance their lives and the lives of those surrounding them?
The way we perceive the language and expression of our tefillot is equivalent to the way modern Americans perceive Shakespeare. Yet we introduce these prayers to our children at a very young age mainly as rote with the child having little or no understanding as to its meaning. Schools must make it a priority to teach the general meaning of the prayers, by providing classes on the significance of prayer and to constantly review its implications daily.
But that’s not nearly enough.
Teachers, as well as administrators, must be actively involved in the daily prayers that transpire at a school and must set the bar as dugmaot ishiot, role models, on how one must daven. Too often in schools the principal hands over the responsibility of running the daily services to a teacher and avoids active involvement. Principals and teachers must set the example. The children must be provided with people whom they look up to as role models, portraying an example as to proper decorum, behavior and respect during davening, These role models must not engage in any conversation , but must be totally immersed in setting themselves as the prime example of respect and reverence during davening.
Additionally, principals and teachers must look for alternate ways to transmit the beauty of davening to the children and the thrill and the soul of prayer. In my school in West Hartford, any time Hallel was recited, I accompanied the children with my guitar while another teacher played his tof, and a third woman teacher, from behind the mechitza, accompanied on her violin. With time the children looked forward to the times we sang Hallel, as this experience grew to become a spiritual exercise that eventually included parents and guests who also wanted to partner in this experience.
But the most important prerequisite is the parents’ attitude and deportment during their own prayer service in shul. Without exception, the children of parents who are serious daveners – who never talk during davening, who keep their children near them and direct them, who set the example for them on how to act during davening – get the message and become serious daveners,
In my school I was easily able to tell whose parents were solemn and focused during davening by just looking at the child. As a principal of an out-of-town day school, I not only taught the children of my school, but when attending services on Shabbat I interacted with the parents and I could see who truly took their davening seriously. Did the parent come on time? Was he/she talking to their neighbor during the service? Were they respectful? Were they serious in hearing every word of the Torah reading? In nearly one hundred percent of the time, the children’s behavior during the davening at school was a direct reflection of the parent’s behavior in shul.
Children mimic their parents and the parents’ example is what generates the solemnity and respect that is demonstrated by their children. To me this is the deciding factor. For children to value prayer and approach it with reverence, their parents must also take it upon themselves to be serious, so that they don’t reach the stage where they might be asking the question: “Why is my child so turned off from davening?”