At just seven years of age, Maor S. from the southern Israeli town of Kiryat Milachi lost his mother to cancer. Each year, his grandmother and aunt struggled to find the emotional strength to celebrate his birthday with the happiness the boy deserved but it was always a struggle. They were therefore all the more worried when it came to preparing for Maor’s Bar Mitzva.
But then his aunt heard about an initiative sponsored by the organization, Colel Chabad, which invited orphan boys to celebrate their bar mitzvah alongside others who had lost parents at such an early age. On Monday, March 30th, Maor joined another 112 Bar Mitzva boy’s at the Western Wall in Jerusalem to commemorate this occasion. The event was designed to ensure that the boys and their parents would truly be guests and be able to enjoy in every way and all expenses were covered by donors to the organization. Many of the families in attendance came from economically-disadvantaged backgrounds where the prospect of such a complete celebration would never have been possible.
Upon arrival in Jerusalem, every boy was provided with a brand new set of Talit and Teffilin- a purchase which on its own reaches into the hundreds of dollars. The boys also received a new dress tie and kippa which they wore proudly as they were danced down from the Western Wall plaza to the Wall where they made the traditional blessing over the Torah for the first time.
The collection of families represented at the event were as diverse as Israeli society itself. Boys travelled from as far away as Kiryat Shmona on the northern border to Eilat in the south. Although many of the children came from observant backgrounds, for many others it was their first exposure to an organized religious service.
The one thing which united all of them was the loss of at least one parent. Some lost their mother or father to illness, others to tragic accidents or terror attacks and in some cases suicide.
But every effort was made to focus on the happiness of the day and leave the child’s pain aside.
The program is in its seventh year and is an initiative of Colel Chabad, which is the longest continuously running charity in Israel, founded in 1788 by the first Rebbe of Chabad. The idea for the program was conceived of by Rabbi Yitzchak Mishan of Brazil. A father of 13 who lost his wife to illness, Rabbi Mishan came up with the idea at his son’s bar mitzvah to ensure that orphaned children could be surrounded by others in similar situations on days of celebration. What started with ten boys has now grown to 113 and a comparable program also exists for bat mitzvah girls.
“During times of happiness, I know that these families feel that something is missing in their lives. So our goal was to ensure that these children know that they are not alone, that they can be truly happy and that life will go on despite the obvious pain and loss they are feeling,” Rabbi Mishan said.
Rabbi Sholom Duchman, the International Director of Colel Chabad says that the Bar Mitzvah program is just one facet of a national effort that has already reached close to 1,800 boys and girls who have lost parents. “On days like today we want these children to feel the joy that any normal child experiences on their bar mitzvah,” he said.
After the ceremony in the Old City, the children and their families were taken by bus to the Binyanei Hauma convention center at the entrance to Jerusalem. There a lavishly decorated banquet hall awaited the guests who were treated to a multi-course gourmet meal, musical entertainment and a gathering which welcomed the participation of many dignitaries including close to thirty members of Knesset among them Knesset Speaker Yuli Edelstein.
Each and every boy was brought up to the stage and presented with a personalized gift and given a special blessing.
One mother of six, Eliana Zilberman, looked on with tears in her eyes as she spoke about the importance of this day for her son Aviad, whose father Shmulik was killed less than three years earlier in a work accident. Eliana said that Aviad was initially nervous to come but when he saw other boys in a similar situation he quickly warmed up.
“This event reminded us that people truly care about others. The reality is that for many kids in this situation true happiness is not something they get to feel very often,” the mother said. “But today they felt it and we will all remain appreciative for the rest of our lives.”
A delegation of the bar mitzvah boys was also honored to meet with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in his office. Congratulating the boys, the Prime Minister shared a message he himself received from the Lubavitcher Rebbe years earlier, calling on them to use their experiences to become the flame of light that dispels the darkness around them in the world.