Photo Credit: Image posted by Shahaf Pelovitz on Rotter.net
Seeing as she doesn't stand a chance to conclude her negotiations with the Palestinians successfully, after the right has outmaneuvered her on retaining the Jordan Valley, Minister Tzipi Livni (far center) is livid. Naftali Bennett suggested she might do better negotiating with, say, Ferengi…

If a Palestinian State should come into being, God forbid, we can expect that the Hamas will take it over in a short time, and due to its new status as a state, Israel will not be able to do bubkas about it.

That’s awful enough, ask the Jewish settlements next to that other Hamas controlled Palestinian state in Gaza.

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But Israel is able to control the violence emanating from Gaza, and now, with the new regime in place in Egypt, the terror government of Hamas is limited with what it can do to us before we retaliate fiercely. We should be able to survive a “West Bank” Palestinian state as well—as long as we’re able to monitor directly the Palestinian state’s eastern border, to prevent the traffic of military hardware from Jordan—which is 80 percent Palestinian.

Take away our ability to control the eastern border and yours truly, here in Netanya, will be filing his reports from his bomb shelter, which, in our building, is also a parking garage and our Internet connection is terrible down there.

Take away our Jordan Valley and watch the same fate that befell our brothers and sisters near the Gaza Strip—a couple hundred thousands of them, give or take—become the plight of about 3 million Israelis.

That’s the fate Tzipi Livni is planning for us, and she’s becoming angrier and angrier when we refuse to lay down our necks in the nice hole below the guillotine.

Finally: The Jewish Press website is running a poll that asks “Who do you think was the most dangerous person to the Jews in 2013?” My initial response was to look for the name Benjamin Netanyahu. but, alas, for reasons of niceties and politics, our staff preferred not to insult the man quite so openly. This is why we omitted President Shimon Peres as well, in his case strictly out of respect for the title.

But the truth is that Netanyahu, or rather his choice regarding the Jordan Valley bill, when it comes up for a Knesset vote, will decide the fate of Israel for a long time. If Bibi kills the Regev bill through parliamentary maneuvering, I propose that he should be handed his spot on the list of most dangerous to the Jews, right above Obama 9who’s leading right now, with Kerry and Rouhani tied for second place).

Livni is aware that once the Regev bill passes, it could mean the end of the negotiations. the Palestinians will walk. As it is they’re having a hard time explaining to their people why the Jews should be allowed to live, never mind hold on to some of their conquered territories.

So Livni will, indeed, meet with aliens: Vulcans, Klingons, Ferengi, whatever it takes, to find a way around the fact that the vast majority of Israelis, including many who support the “2-state solution” will never give up the Jordan Valley.

Live long and prosper, Tzipora Livni.


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Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.