(JNi.media) The heat wave of the past few days in Israel, the Middle East, New York, the continental US — the sweltering areas — has generated an enormous number of heat wave jokes, many of which date back to the great heat wave of 1922 in the Catskills. But a few online/social media/blogger types have managed to do the impossible and come up with new stuff — which is defined as stuff we haven’t heard yet.
Much of the credit for these goes to comedian, writer, educator Benji Lovitt, originally from Dallas, Texas, now living in sweltering Tel Aviv—where they just started digging up a new metropolitan rail, a sort of August special. Some of the credit goes to Janglo.net, a website for Israeli Anglos; and some more to individuals, including Paula Stern, Zev Stub, Ari Teman, Daniel Gottesman, and Rafi Goldmeier.
So, how hot is it?
Its so hot, Asghar Bukhari thinks the Mossad stole his pool toys.
Its so hot, Bibi has completely finished his Pistachio ice cream stash.
Its so hot, the Arab threat to drive us into the sea don’t sound half bad.
Its so hot, Yishai Shlissel doesn’t actually have to go straight to hell. (Too soon?)
Its so hot, if you drop eggs and tomatoes on the sidewalk, you’ll get a shakshuka.
It’s so hot, the Dead Sea died again.
Its so hot, I just saw two camels buying an air conditioner.
Its so hot, I went on Kickstarter to raise 20,000 shekels for my electric bill.
It’s so hot, people are pushing to get into the Mitzvah Tanks.
It’s so hot, I’ve come to appreciate the difference a little bit of shade can make, and the energy saving benefits of passive cooling in sustainable architecture.
It’s so hot in Modiin, nobody noticed because they never go out.
It’s so hot in Tel Aviv, I’m hurting on the outside.
It’s so hot, the hot secretaries are getting hate mail.
It’s so hot, they’re renaming the Kotel the “Sweating Wall.”
There were more of these, but not nearly as hot.
It’s so hot, the guy in the shuk is out of safron ice cream, Cardamom ice cream, hummus ice cream, cholent ice cream, and his spicy green s’chug ice cream. Still some sweaty sabra ice cream left, if you hurry.