“There is blindness on the Israeli side, and I have a personal story to illustrate it. A few months ago I met a Jewish professor in my college, Cosimi College, which is an Arab education college in an Arab Muslim town. He said to me, “You’re married to an Arab and you work in an Arab college. I admire you.” I admit it took me a while to realize that he assumed I was not Arab, an example of how strong the stereotype really is.
“In this tense space between ambivalent attitudes, I have to tell you that this leaves the community of Arab-Israeli Muslim women in a situation of total poverty and ignorance. Only 22% of them are in the workforce while 80% never pursue higher education. This is due to something called the ‘disguise of the good Arab woman.’ This disguise promotes the adage, ‘Keep the homes shining and the husband will be smiling,’ which is the model of the good Arab woman. This proverbial shining of the windows of the home and of the husband’s smile leaves no time for a career, self-fulfillment or self-expression. This is the question I started debating with my husband 10 years ago, when I went from home oriented to career-oriented. He said, ‘I’m very supportive of your career, but the home needs to be clean and the kids need a hot meal.’ This is the paradox: The new Arab man supports his wife to be ambitious in an international career but asks her first to clean the bathroom.”