IDF officers whose task it is to deliver “the bad news” to families of Israeli soldiers and other military personnel — like others in wartime Israel — have been under tremendous strain. But unlike some, it is rare they are privileged to take time out to rejuvenate and recharge their human batteries for the unenviable task of being the messengers of tragedy.
Enter OneFamily, which recently provided a short respite and critical support for those who have one of the most difficult jobs in the army.
The organization hosted a unique day retreat for 25 of the most senior officers of the “IDF Casualty Center,” the division of 1800 soldiers tasked with notifying families of fallen soldiers. The unit was founded in 1948 but only became an active unit two years after the 1973 Yom Kippur War, which claimed the lives of thousands of Israelis. They are tasked with notifying families of fallen soldiers, then remaining in groups of three with each bereaved family for the funeral and week of shiva.
Focusing on a small group of the leadership enabled the participants to return rejuvenated with the resources to help the hundreds of soldiers within their unit, according to Alona Saloman, the officer in charge of IDF Casualties Center headquarters and a longstanding supporter and General Committee member of OneFamily.
“I’ve known for a long time that OneFamily has a lot of wisdom and experience and helping those in extreme grief, encountering families shattered by terror and death and speaking to them in their hardest moments. This was a way of sharing that wisdom with the officers of the IDF who have taken on this incredibly challenging task.”
“The hardest part for these officers is having to absorb the anger and pain expressed by the mourners,” she said, “Sometimes they come to families who slam the door and won’t let them into the house. While everyone can understand their difficult feelings, it is these officers who have to absorb everything and be with the families for seven days.”
Soldiers gathered as a team to strengthen each other, receive counseling and support from social workers, and unwind from their stressful and sensitive work. The day, spent in a luxurious private home, included workshops, important sessions with professionals, an elaborate lunch, and opportunities for yoga/exercise.
“These officers need therapy; they need a safe space to simply be able to discuss it, to talk through what they are each going through, and to know how to deal with it,” noted the organization’s northern region coordinator, Batya Wineberg.
“The timing of the retreat was almost eerie,” she said. “The members of the Casualty Team have had no rest since October 7th,” she said.
“Who could have possibly known when they paused to get much-needed support themselves, that overnight they would need to contact 25 families – and counting – in response to yesterday’s horrible death toll.”
OneFamily works to provide the necessary support to victims of terror and their families. The organization has been inundated with thousands upon thousands of bereaved, orphaned, injured, and more since October 7th.
Since October 7th, the organization has also had to find new ways to help with new problems, like solutions for displaced families, counseling for the families of the hostages still in captivity, and the mounting stress and challenge for the IDF itself.”
“We are a small country, and everyone knows someone suffering a tragic loss,” Batya explained. “This is so personal for everyone, and it has taken a tremendous toll on these officers.
“They have to do this impossibly difficult job, they have to be there for such a difficult week. Then they have to move on. We remain with these families for the rest of their lives. We hope that while fulfilling their challenging mission they will refer to us and help us reach the families faster and more efficiently.”
