“Children are not nachas machines”…….or are they?
According to AI, nachas is “a Yiddish word that translates to deep pride and joy, especially the kind felt from the accomplishments or meaningful actions of a loved one, particularly one’s children. “AI is wrong. Nachas is a relaxed state; it is ease or comfort. And perhaps, therefore, parents can indeed expect for their children to provide them with nachas. All of our Avos experienced very challenging episodes in raising their children and observing their respective paths and decisions. The Torah isn’t shy about the disappointing behaviors of Yishmael, Eisav, and many of the Shevatim. We learn from the divergent parenting approaches of Avraham and Sarah; Yitzchak and Rivkah. We read and can almost hear Yaakov Avinu’s disappointment in Shimon and Levi’s attack on Shechem… and yet… No mention of nachas as pride.
Looking backwards to the first use of the root form “Noach” (Bereishis 5:29), we see that Lamech names his son Noach stating that “this one will comfort us from our deeds and ease for us the toil of our hands on this land.” Rashi, there, explains that until Noach, no one used farming tools to make their work easier. Tools don’t make the work go away; they make the process more efficient. And nachas isn’t representative of children who don’t challenge their parents or who always make them proud; but of parents who invest wisely in the process of child-rearing and appreciate the steps as they are taken; not as they produce any one specific result.