Title: Empower Your Child: How to Successfully Navigate Your Child’s Journey Through the Elementary Grades
By: Rabbi Moshe Weinberg
Feldheim
Rabbi Moshe Weinberg has been in chinuch for over forty years. He understands the importance of parent-teacher cooperation, and in this new book he shares strategies for children to succeed at school, at home, and in life.
Amongst the topics Rabbi Weinberg discusses in Empower Your Child are homework, respecting teachers, the summer gap, bullying, special education, and when to get a principal involved. This book is highly recommended for all parents and teachers, as well as for older students who can understand and appreciate the tips and strategies offered based on Rabbi Weinberg’s vast experience as well as the tutelage of his own father, Rabbi Shnayer Weinberg, a retired school principal, now educational consultant.
One way to empower your child to succeed is to work with their teacher for the child’s benefit. Communication between the parents and teacher is key. One example listed in the book describes a problematic behavior displayed by a student in the classroom. When the teacher called in the parents, they stated that their child was displaying the same behavior at home. Rather than work with the teacher, the parent dismissively stated that the teacher should simply seat their child closer to the door. Absent the cooperation of the parents, the teacher had to work harder to help the child accomplish their goals.
The book is also supplemented by the wise words of our Sages, who have taught us how to navigate adversity: “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again; however, the wicked stumble when calamity strikes” (Mishlei 24:16). What Shlomo HaMelech tells us is that things might not always go our way; we need to accept them. Teach your children to accept things they may not want to hear with dignity and grace. As a sign on Rabbi Weinberg’s classroom door read, “Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that you should not try. It means that you should just try harder.”
When it comes to principals, Rabbi Weinberg recommends bringing them in only as a last resort. Principals will sometimes validate the parents’ opinions without helping the parents and teacher come to a resolution to whatever difficulty the student might be having. Of course, parents should address issues with teachers and not ignore them.
If a parent doesn’t work hard to ensure a child succeeds at home, how then can they expect the child to do well in school? Parents should ensure their children do their homework and get enough rest at home. Also, respect and gratitude for teachers should be fostered. Children need to learn good behavior in the home. Abaya said that “a child’s words in the street are invariably [repeated from what he has heard] from his father or mother” (Sukkah 56b). It is up to the parents to be role models for their child.
It is a good idea for parents not to challenge the teacher’s suggestions. They should listen to the teacher’s concerns, and commit to working with him. Even if they are skeptical they should at least start by considering the teacher’s solutions and giving him a chance to overcome the problem. It is possible that they may not get as many chances in the future if the rebbi feels that these parents are not willing to partner with them.
One way to help children avoid the problem of bullying is by encouraging them to set up playdates with their peers. Network and connect with other parents in the class. Take your child to a shul which other classmates attend. Don’t just invite the most popular student in the class. Buy games that other children in the class might not have at home. In this way, you can encourage relationships with other children and increase your own child’s social acceptance.
Children should not be placed in the situation of having to tell on their classmates. Of course, problematic and dangerous situations should not be swept under the rug. Rather, the teacher needs to be proactive in knowing the goings-on in the classroom and on the playground. One child should not be made to “monitor” another.
Empower Your Child will help you manage your child’s school experience and will also be helpful to teachers.
