With yuntif around the corner, there are plenty of sources to rely on that encourage a family to purchase new clothes and a piece of jewelry for one’s wife, even if it stretches your finances. I can technically afford to do this, but I would need to take out a bit of debt (probably credit card debt) until I get my annual bonus at the end of the year. I’m curious about your perspective on this. Should I push myself financially so that my family looks fapitst for yuntif?
~A reader
I’m not familiar with, or qualified to speak on, the halachic basis of your comment, but allow me to opine on the financial aspects. There are several components to your question, so let’s dive into each of them.
Affordability: You pointed out that you can “technically afford to” buy new clothes and jewelry. This is an incorrect statement based on the information provided in the rest of your question. If you don’t have the cash in the bank to pay for an item now, then you obviously cannot afford it now. Additions to your family’s wardrobe are not necessities like food, transportation, or a roof over your head. Borrowing money, even for a short period of time, to make such purchases is ill-advised.
The cornerstone of personal finance is to live within your means. Buying something you can’t afford goes against this dictum and will set you up for financial ruin. Keep in mind that spending money you don’t have on an item you don’t need is not a mitzvah no matter which rabbi you follow.
Using credit card debt: Credit card debt is the cancer to one’s personal finances. Today, with an average interest rate of nearly 25%, this type of debt can very quickly grow out of control even with a modest amount of debt. For anyone who is considering taking out credit card debt for any purchase, my message is simple: DON’T DO IT! For any item that needs to be purchased, there is ALWAYS a better way than using credit card debt.
Consider tradeoffs: The theme of “tradeoffs” is one that I come back to frequently in many of my articles. After all, it’s at the core of personal finance and, frankly, an essential lesson for life in general. If purchasing accessories for your family before yutnif is important to your life, then perhaps you can make this work by cutting aggressively in other areas. This may be limiting vacations, leasing a cheaper car, or making beans and rice staples of weeknight meals at home. There are an infinite number of financial decisions. It just takes the desire and motivation to consider the tradeoffs, and then direct more cash flow towards the items you personally find important.
Tradeoffs can also be made on what items you decide to buy to enhance your yuntif experience. This may seem obvious, but your family does not need an entirely new wardrobe or the fanciest piece of jewelry available in order to enter yuntif with more enthusiasm. Oftentimes, even a small item, like a new siddur, sefer, or bottle of wine, can spark joy in a family’s life before yuntif. None of these items are huge financial outlays, yet they can create an additional level of excitement. Considering economical alternatives to what you suggested may make all the difference.
More intentional spending: It’s common for folks to spend money on goods and services they don’t need or infrequently use throughout the year. Expenses like subscriptions, membership fees, and overspending on food throughout the week, can all add up. These financial outlays can be eliminated with better cash flow management. Periodically combing through your expenses to eliminate items that are not used or are unnecessary may free up the cash to spend more money on items that will improve your yuntif experience.
Looking fapitst: Admittedly, my Yiddish is nisht gut, so I had to look up the word fapitst (“dolled up or gussied up” – thanks, Google!). Contrary to popular belief, I’m not an expert on looking adequately fapitst. However, I contend that someone can look fapitst in clothes that they already owned simply by ensuring they are freshly laundered or have just come back from the cleaners. In doing so, they can avoid a huge financial outlay on new things.
My concern is that in your effort to look good you are more focused on others in your community noticing your new attire and accessories. I’m pretty sure G-d doesn’t care about the latest fashion trends. To quote personal finance personality, Dave Ramsey: “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.” I imagine you like the people in your community, but the people that matter most to your life will love you no matter what you wear on yuntif. I would suggest you redirect your focus (and financial resources) to items that will actually enhance the holiday experience for your family.
To conclude, I paskin that it is assur to splurge on more stuff for yuntif unless: 1) You can comfortably afford all the necessary parts of the holiday (i.e. food, holidays seats, giving to the Yizkor appeal, etc.). 2) You are paying yeshiva tuition in full. 3) You have a 3-month emergency fund. 4) You are contributing to your retirement accounts every year. If you don’t have these four things squared away before buying unnecessary new clothes and jewelry, then you may have your priorities misaligned.
Wishing all Jewish Press readers a wonderful High Holiday season!
