Pesach is a holiday of paradoxes, concepts that appear self-contradictory or illogical, yet can be true when examined more closely. The following are just a few examples of the paradoxes that emerge throughout the holiday.
- Staring at us on the seder plate, we have the bitter herbs, maror, symbolizing suffering sitting adjacent to the sweet charoset, which represents hope and redemption. It’s a reminder that life’s joys and sorrows are deeply intertwined.
- Leaning on a pillow and drinking wine like kings, as we talk about our enslavement.
- Spending the seder discussing our freedom, while we spend the entire holiday restricted in what we can eat.
These seemingly contradictory ideas reflect the contradictory nature of my own feelings on Pesach.
Conflicting Passover Experience
Growing up, I was fortunate to have a seder with three generations of my family. My brothers and I were together with our parents and grandparents. My parents relayed their memories of sitting at the seder with their grandparents. My Zeidy would even tell me about his seder in Europe with his grandfather, who told him of sitting at the seder with his own grandfather. These memories are quite special. It’s truly amazing to think about the link from one generation to the next that spanned hundreds of years.
Of course, Pesach wasn’t exactly like a Brady Bunch family dinner, with everybody happy go lucky. In between the traditions, memories, and sharing Divrei Torah, there was the underlying stress of getting everything set up. There was always someone who was grumpy given the late hour, hunger, and mix of personalities at the table. It wasn’t uncommon for a fight to break out between my brothers and/or myself, inevitably ending with someone in tears. I always felt that the second seder was a do-over opportunity for the first night.
I imagine what I am describing is not foreign to many readers. After all, whenever you put a bunch of people in close quarters, with a combination of stress, exhaustion, changed diets, and a mix of personalities, emotions are bound to boil over and cause some tension. This is especially true for a three-day yom tov.
Interestingly, the less than happy memories of stress and tension are never top of mind. Rather, I more easily recall the positive experiences of spending time with my family. This is called “selective memory” and comes up in everyone’s life.
Selective Memory Paradox
Selective memory refers to the tendency to remember some things while, often unconsciously, forgetting others. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing.
The human tendency to focus on positive memories, while conveniently forgetting about the less positive ones, is helpful. It’s also why folks reminisce about “the good ol’ days.” The world was at peace, politicians got along, college students were civilized, living was more affordable, and people respected their elders. Right? Well, not exactly. Older generations just tend to conveniently forget about the not so pleasant aspects of growing up.
The 50s, 60s, and 70s all had international conflicts where the U.S. was an active participant. From post-World War II until the dissolution of the Soviet Union, the U.S. was on high alert for a nuclear war. There was civil unrest in the 1960s, the Kent State shooting, the 1968 Democratic convention riots, the rebellious Beatnik movement, massive inflation in the 70s, and double-digit mortgage rates in the 80s. There was no shortage of negativity in the world, yet it’s often human nature to only selectively remember the positive. It helps us move forward from challenging situations, allows us to focus on big picture items, and empowers us when thinking about the future.
However, a selective memory can also cause people to be overconfident, repeat negative behaviors or cycles, and prevent properly learning from, or dealing with, problematic past events. This isn’t great when it comes to investing. Selective memory is why many investors are inclined to give their former college roommate money for his next real estate syndication promising to double your money in five years, remembering the one past winner even though he lost your money on most of his other deals in which you’ve participated. It is also why people pile all their investments into one currently hot area of the market, like the S&P 500. Someone can brag about its nearly 17-year run up, while conveniently forgetting about the nearly 60% decline during the Great Financial Crisis which is a very real risk for the future.
In the world of investing, selectively reminiscing about your positive investment experiences, while forgetting your mistakes, can lead to future errors and derail your finances.
Paradox of Choice
A paradox of choice is the predicament of having too many choices. While having options is undoubtedly a good thing, being presented with too many choices can often lead to paralysis and indecision.
Significant progress in the financial industry has resulted in an investment landscape today with a plethora of financial institutions to handle your business and tens of thousands of investment options. A common problem for many families is feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to go and what to choose, and it leads many folks to make no decision at all. Remember, indecision is a decision, and it is usually the wrong one.
Paradox of Emotions This Pesach
This paradox of feelings is very relevant this year, in particular. After all, how do we sit at the table with family and loved ones drinking wine and feasting, while we still have brothers and sisters held as captives in Gaza? This feeling is unsettling, but consistent with the theme of Pesach.
Lesson for Beyond Pesach
When contemplating these conflicting feelings and ideas, a quote that came to mind is from F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”
As I look at my seemingly paradoxical seder plate this year, one of the many things swirling around in my head will be that Pesach, investing, and life, are all full of contradictions. You can drive yourself crazy trying to rationalize them. Instead, the best approach is just to accept the fact that the world is complex, and life is not simple. Embracing this philosophy can make it easier to navigate the many challenges we all face throughout our lives.
