Dear Mrs. Bluth,
I am a woman in my 20s, married for about three years and blessed with a beautiful four month old baby boy. Why am I writing to you?
I know this is going to sound totally crazy but for a while now, I have been feeling completely overwhelmed and frightened. I read about the upsurge in anti-Semitism in the world – and even here in the United States – and it terrifies me. I remember all the stories my grandmother told us about the concentration camps during the war and about all the family she lost and I worry that it is going to happen again.
I live in daily terror that we will all have to run again, to find safety, but where? Where will be able to hide when the safety we had found in America is now questionable? When Jews are killed in shul on Shabbos in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania simply for being Jewish, where can I hide with my baby? I am so filled with terror, day and night, and no one really understands my fears and the stress it is causing me.
I tried to talk to some of the other young mothers in my building, but they brush off the danger by saying that what happened then could never happen here and that I should have more betachon and emunah in Hakodosh Boruch Hu. Believe me, I try, but this huge cloud of dread I am living under gives me no peace. It has gotten so bad that I cannot sleep at night and have lost a noticeable amount of weight. My husband and parents made me go to the doctor, who prescribed sleeping pills.
Mrs. Bluth, I don’t know what is happening to me and I am always afraid, always looking over my shoulder, expecting someone in back of me to jump out, knife in hand and try to harm me and my baby. I can’t go on like this much longer. Please help me!
Dear Friend,
I feel your anxiety and fear in every word of your letter, which was three pages long. I believe that your terror is palpable and very real. However, I need you to clear your head and your heart, just for the few moments it will take for you to read my reply, so that you will be able to fully understand what I am about to explain to you.
Let me begin by saying I don’t believe you are crazy or losing your mind. Rather, I strongly believe you are going through an aggravated form of Postpartum depression, since it appears to have onset soon after the birth of your son. What triggers this anxiety is manifested by the memories of the Holocaust horror stories that are a part of your family history and ties in with all the current anti-Semitism that daily appears in the news. While you are third generation post Holocaust, the stories about your grandparents’ suffering and loss is something that affected you deeply.
You may be right, its possible it could happen again. Here is what I think.
For the Postpartum depression there is wonderful help in the way of counseling and hormonal adjustment. Unfortunately, many mothers, even older mothers, fall victim to Postpartum depression, which is takes place as a huge chemical and hormonal changes a woman goes through during childbirth. There are many ways to approach it, and with treatment there is almost always a successful recovery made. So, please make an appointment to see a mental health professional to get the help you need. Consult with your OB-GYN for a referral and get yourself back on track.
As for your fears about the escalated anti-Semitism and terror attacks we read about, sadly, this is not something radically new or even unexpected. It is something that has followed Klal Yisrael for thousands of years. But we do have a place to go, Eretz Yisroel. Yes, there is danger even there, but at least we know we are in the Land that Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave us, where Moshiach will gather us and where the Geulah will bring us. So, if after you get well you still feel insecure here in the United States, know that Eretz Yisroel is there for you and every one of us who wishes to go and beat the traffic to get there. I, too, foresee the need to go in the not too distant future, so perhaps we will meet on the road along the way. As for emunah and bitachon, these should always be in place in our heart and soul, because Hashem will always protect us, just like you look to protect your son.
In the meantime, look to getting mentally and emotionally healthy, it shouldn’t be a long process. It is hard for others to understand what you are going through if they haven’t experienced it. Postpartum depression is a very real and harrowing condition, but almost always curable. I hope you can take comfort from this and look forward to peace of mind and a sense of safety in knowing you are in vast company. Please let me know if I can help in any other way and keep in touch to let me know how you are doing.