Dear Mrs. Bluth,
I can’t believe any paper allows you to print the rubbish that appears in your column. I am an attorney in the Midwest who deals in divorce and family issues and I can tell you plenty of horror stories where women have conjured up every kind of fabrication to break their husbands financially and emotionally. You seem to portray all women as victims and every man as a brutish beast with a personal vendetta.
I am writing to state the opposite. Many of my female clients have fabricated abuse, charges of addictions and falsified documentation to influence the courts into giving them huge alimony settlements, obtain sole custody and even have their ex-spouses institutionalized or incarcerated. I have defended some of the best actresses outside of Hollywood, women who gave Oscar worthy performances in court and walked out with everything leaving their ex-spouses broken and destitute. Women victims!? Hardly!
Just last month I won a judgement for a woman who claimed her husband physically abused her for almost twenty years, but waited until her husband was making a six figure salary to file for divorce. From my observation, all she suffered from was a huge dose of greed and the knack for good timing. She got the house, the car and enough money to keep her in mink and diamonds for the rest of her life, when all he had done was an occasional push or shove during an altercation. The poor guy (and yes, I do feel sorry for him) will have to support this conniving liar indefinitely, as long as he’s in the 1% bracket. If I had been his attorney, the shrew would have walked away with the clothes on her back, if she was lucky to be allowed to keep those. Good acting should not be rewarded in a court of law!
What irks me is the assumption by some judges that women make the better parent and thus, more often than not, rule in their favor, giving them sole custody, even challenging the findings of child forensics to the contrary. I have seen fathers break down in court when they hear that all they get is twice a month visitation instead of the twice a week they were expecting, and in some cases these visits needed to be supervised.
Where is the fairness and justice for them? They must shoulder all the financial burdens for their children without any of the benefits, while their scheming wives luxuriate in the family home and get their children almost full time.
I know a number of lawyers who feel as I do, that men have been given a bad wrap in the divorce arena because of people like yourself, who are gender motivated and partial. It has become open season on guys who are in unhappy marriages and want to part ways with spouses who torment them. You and your ilk of agitators couldn’t leave well enough alone, you had to tamper with a system that worked by inciting the public ire with stories of male brutality, withholding of “gets” for ransom and male control and domination theories, which, ultimately, even got the RCA to acquiesce and devise a pre-nuptial agreement that must be signed before marriage if one of their rabbis is to officiate. I suppose you revel at that feather in your cap. Sadly, it will do little to stem the tide of divorce because the problems that cause divorces are not being addressed and, therefore, my livelihood will never be threatened.
So carry on, Mrs. Bluth, and champion those calculating, conniving and convincing women all the way to family court. I, for one, challenge you to defend yourself in your public forum and print this letter, but I’m fairly sure you won’t. Just know that I know that you are just another woman looking to fool the world and walk away scot-free.
A Midwestern Legal Eagle
Okay, Mr. Eagle,
The gloves are on, so get ready to rumble! You sound like the majority of divorce lawyers I bump into, who claim to be unbiased and fair-minded, yet defend those cold, calculating and conniving husband-beaters, who blind-side judges with their acting ability and win huge judgments, including sole custody and child support forever, based solely on their award winning acting abilities. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to show who you really are: An opportunist who will sell his services to anyone willing to pay his fee, be he a thief, or worse. You will defend anyone who will match your price, guilty or not, so what does that make you? You would argue that everyone is entitled to defense in court, however, that doesn’t imply that you are noble in defending someone you don’t believe in and feel strongly against defending. No one twisted your arm to help the women you rile against in your letter; I assume they paid you well. Welcome to the realm of “Lawyers without Morals 101.”
I feel no need to defend myself to the likes of you. Instead, I will tell you that statistics show that women are far more likely to be victimized, brutalized and murdered in domestic disputes than men. I am very pleased to see the growing ranks of rabbanim, batei din and professionals who institute and support the changes to the Get process, putting a woman’s safety at the forefront. It is a slow process, but Baruch Hashem, there is promising news all the time.
To set the record straight, I’ve witnessed enough broken bones, black eyes, broken teeth and broken hearts to not let your letter faze me. Rather, missives like yours only encourage me and others to work harder to protect women (and men) and children, who find themselves in a dark and sometimes dangerous place and need a helping hand. You may have won some large judgments for your female clients (or, so you say), but how many more have you thrown under the bus? Thanks for highlighting the ugly side of public defense, if anything you succeeded in shooting yourself in the leg by advertising your scruples (or lack thereof) and moral make-up. The truth is, its defenders like yourself that make everyone come away a loser!
To the readers, I say “buyer beware!” Shop carefully for an attorney and don’t judge every lawyer by one who wrote the above letter. There are many fine attorneys in the field, you just need to do sufficient research before hiring one.
I do agree that divorces will continue to happen as long as we view it as the first or only answer to an ailing marriage. Prevention, in the form of education, the will to problem-solve and therapy are key to saving most marriages. Let’s all try to make our lives better, keep our families together and put certain legal eagles out of business!